What age??

[Curious79]

Hiya.  I have posted this is Body and Sould but thought maybe it might be appropriate here too.  I am 26 years old and am having a break from my boyfriend of 3 years.  To be honest, I don't really know what to do, split up or stay together.  I know that 26 isn't old but I am kind of feeling a bit like I am running out of time.  I would like to have children one day and I think before I am 30.  What age did have children?  Do you think it is better to be a young or older mother?  Do you think that nowadays we should be married first?

[chazza]

I'm in exactly the same situation as you!  I'm 26, just out of a 3 year relationship.  I think you should trust your feelings, if you dont think it will work in the long run, get out asap.  We hung on for longer than we should have and it was just a waste of time.

 

You could stick with him just for the sake of it but you could end up in the same position in 10 years time!

[hmc]

Don't need to be married, but if you're not 110% sure that boyfriend is committed, don't have a baby...unless you're prepaired to go it alone.  Don't stay in a pointless relationship, change your life and put yourself in the way of new experiences.

[jeh1967]

Stay split up and date me

[lindapinda]

As regards your boyfriend,if you have to think about whether or not he is for you,the fact that you have to think about it...makes me think,maybe he's not? You would know instinctively if something was right!  Don't be rushed by all this now or never stuff,that "they"keep piling on. You are still young,and you should have a baby,with someone you know that you love,and you know loves you.

[Gathorne]

I think that the good thing about "nowadays" is that we can do what we want when it's right for us. I had my first child at 35, my second at 38, and I'm getting married for the first time next year with the two most gorgeous bridesmaids.

The only answer to any of your questions is to do it all when you know it's the right time for you - you've got all the time you need.

[blair1946]

It doesn't matter how old you are as a mother, but it is in the child's best interests that you are married to his father and are deeply committed. 

[AKParrotHead]

My husband had his son when he was 16! I'm only 14 years older than the stepson I'm raising and it's hard definitely hard, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm also 26 and starting to talk babies. My husband is not ready because he remembers how hard it was. I can tell him it will be different until I'm blue in the face, but he has it in his mind that we need to be settled more before we add to our family. Bottom line: I will wait as long as it takes to have my partner excited about having a baby! It's not a good situation when one partner isn't ready and when you do finally find the one and he's excited about having a child together, it will be the most wonderful experience, even if you are in your 30's!

[Monypenny]

You are definately not running out of time! My parents were 32 & 31 when they had me.  I want to have kids in another couple of year (27ish) but think you can be a parent whenever, younger or older.  You shouldn't stay with someone IMO just becuase you want a baby/family, its the wrong reason.  Stay with him becuase you can't be without him if you know what I mean, you can't imagine your life without him in it .... questioning your relationship doesn't mean it is over/you shouldn't be in it, it is human nature to wonder "what if" if you love him enjoy your life and babies will come if they are meant to ...