disputes - why do so many want to go for the kill instantly...?

[joko]

people often come on here will some tale of anger and woe about a dispute with a neighbour or shop or friend or something...and their question is rarely 'how should i approach them' or 'what should i say, so it doesnt get heated'...its usually, 'what legal action can i take', 'who can o report them too', 'can i sue them', can i get a court order', 'can the police order them', 'will the council sort it' etc...always seemingly with the aim of getting this person into trouble...

why do they rarely ever just - ask?
why isnt their first choice to just speak to the person and explain and ask them to rectify the problem in a nice neighbourly manner? or why dont they put a note through the door, or phone them?

often they are advised on here to try that...an they come back on all amazed. saying it worked and neighbour has apologised - often having been unaware there was even a problem in the first place...!

so why do we always want to go straight in a the top, choosing laborious, time consuming and complicated, over simple courtesy?

cheers

[ummmm]

I always found that when advised to speak to them...the come back is 'I've tried'

[Old_Geezer]

Emotion.

[daffy654]

I wouldn't ask for advice until I had tried to rectify the problem myself. You may find that most of the posters have already done that too.

[bednobs]

i agree with you joko. I would addwhy do people always want advice on their legal problems, when they are paying a solicitor to give it to them?

[ummmm]

Solicitor isn't telling them what they want to hear?

[joko]

thats my point daffy, they havent tried at all, i wouldnt have posted this if they did...they often havent even spoken to them...they just seem to want to know how they can get involved in some legal dispute about it

[starone]

My neighbours are lovely, I'm glad to say.

[ummmm]

maybe they just aren't brave enough. They might hate confrontation....

[welshlibranr]

Think it's because we have no sense of cummunity these days, we don't know our neighbours anymore, and in lots of cases, we don't want to know them either!........we live a very insular life, most of us go to work full time, and so never get time to know the neighbours!........and so when things annoy us. we just expect the local council to sort it, because, we don't know our neighbours, and never speak to them, that's the problem, no community spirit anymore!...........

[TWR]

There are different Situations that, as you put it, going for the kill! If you loved the job your doing & someone was intent through jealousy cost you your job, what would you do & think?

[PurplePolkadot]

I agree the first thought should be to talk to the other person, but so many people these days are unnaproachable, i once did try as you suggest and not only got threatened but had to suffer months of intimidation until the police eventually got involved, and things settled and the problem sorted. Some people just wont listen and have no regard for others, and however nicely you try to broach a situation you can be on a hiding to nothing.