Moving out at 16

[xconfusedx]

I am 16, 17 in two months and live in the UK. I really dont want to stay here living with my parents anymore, they are so controlling! They never let me go out, the are chosing the college they want me to go to, trying to chose my friends, telling me what i should do in the future...

anyway..i have decided that I want to move out as soon as possible coz i cant take it any more...I will move to my best friends house. I have spoken to both of her parents and they are both fine with it as they have had people living with them before and they are good friends of mine.

But here are the questions i wanna ask:
can i just get up and leave without a fuss?
canmy parents get me back? do the social service get involved if i am living in a house with friends?

I could realy do with some advice! please!

[evil__sheep]

yes, although it would make sense to talk to them about it
No
No

[Buenchico]

At the age of 16 you have the right to leave your parents' home and never have any contact with them again. (NB: I'm definitely not recommending that as a course of action!).

If you simply 'disappeared' (or 'ran away'), and your parents reported you as missing, the police would be barred from revealing your whereabouts to your parents. (Although they could tell them that they'd located you and that you were safe and well).

In just two months time (at the age of 17) you can also get married without your parents permission. (Again, I'm not recommending it!).

Chris

[albaqwerty]

Go to the council. They will get you a homeless unit. If you are working then you will have to pay a reasonable rent.

If you aren't working, then you wiol be in a homelss unit surrounding by possibly undesirables.

[craft1948]

Not a problem if you're working...........if you're not how are you going to pay for your keep?

[welshlibranr]

Always remember that your parents are just trying to look out for you, they may well be going over the top, but that's what they're trying to do!....have a chat or write down how you feel, but try to work it out with them if you can!........they care about you!...........

[tamborine]

Its not controlling its your parents concern for your welfare. Your leaving will surely cause them a lot of distress so think long and hard before you run out on them.....usually parents are the most reliable for support when you need it.

[albaqwerty]

My 17 yr old tootled off, (his brother is 19 next month and is still at home)
Door is always opened for the 17 year old, he's doing fine. Pops in whenever he can (usually at weekends) He is working full time and enjoying the freedom but knows where his anchor is.

[STIDW]

I suggest trying family counselling, which is available for organisations such as Relate, before you make the decision to move out. It will help communication and perhaps you parents will take on board your feelings and back off a bit. It may be they just haven't realised that you are no longer a child or that they are anxious about your future. Even if you do decide to leave positive communication is important for long term family relationships.

Our daughter left when she was just 17 thinking how cool it would be to have her own place and be free of parental guidance. Unfortunately she learned the hard way that sometimes parents have had the life experience and are right about these things. After chopping and changing jobs then setting off RTW she discovered it wasn't so easy to get employment and without a job it is difficult to afford your own place and a social life. In the end moving back and living with us was the lesser of all evils. She is now 28 and is only now in the position to move out and be independent.

I wish she had listened when she was 17 rather than waste a decade but sadly young people have ultimately to work these things out for themselves.

[boxtops]

How will you fund living with your friend's parents? You can't expect them to pay for your food and housekeeping like laundry - you need to be able to pay your way. What will happen to your college studies if you move out? - if fees have to be paid, your parents' income is taken into account.

[Quirer]

Your council will not allow you to sign for a tenancy at 16, you will need a guarantor to vouch you can pay your way or to say they'll cough up if you default.
Only later down the line will you realise how cushy it is at home with parents!

[Rosetta]

You may have the right to move out as Buenochico says, but is it for the best? Coping on your own with limited financial options is really tough, to be completely independent. Are you sure this is the only way to go? Can you not talk to your family to see if there are any other compromises

[Jemisa]

You can't just move into your friends house without thinking.
How will you pay the rent?
How will you pay for food?
Who will do your washing and ironing?
Where will you get money from for expenses Fares personal itams?
Where does your money tree grow?

Jem

[emu23]

At the age of 16 you are no longer a minor in that respect and therefore you are free to leave home

[proudmary]

Hi, I'm a little worried about Albaquert's answer, the council may not give you homeless accommodation as you are not technically homeless (your parents would have you at home), please think carefully about your options and maybe look around to see if there is a young person's hostel in your area where you will receive support but still have a little more independence. Best wishes