star - because of your condition, it is really easy to see everything, and I mean everything, in your life as negative, which includes the apparent (although not necessarily deliberate) abandonment of you by your friends.
You do need some profesional help, so call your doctor and ask him to visit you, and explain how desparate you feel, and ask for some help, which may not need medication, but could include other areas of support.
Please keep us posted - lots of people on here care that you are OK.