Other workers have turned against me.

[Florie1234]

I've been working at my job for a little over eight months and I'm really enjoying it and have had good feedback from my boss. His son came into the office one day about six months ago and we got talking on my lunch break and he asked me out, his dad seemed fine about it. We've been dating since and I really really like him, he's incredibly sweet and funny and treats me like a princess. His dad seems fine about the arrangement, I see him quite a lot outside of work and he is very aware of not talking to me differently than the other workers which I like. But the others have completely turned against me (I'm the newest person there) and are doing everything they can to make me mess up, his dad is aware of what is going on and is keeping an eye on it. But I feel so uncomfortable going in because they all hate me so much, I do the same job as them, get paid the same and get treated the same, it's all because I date our boss' son. Is there anything I can do to make it easier?

[Bobbisox]

what a load of jealous people you must work with Florie, confront them all together and ask politely if they have a problem with you

[muchlovex]

can you give examples of how they are treating you?

[Florie1234]

It's honestly like being back at school, I feel as if I'm a twelve year old again getting bullied. There are so many snide remarks about how I don't have to try at the job because I'm sleeping with the boss' son. And I went back to my desk the other day and someone had deleted all the work I'd done that morning, I reported it but then I look like I'm "running off to daddy-in-law" as they put it.

[factor-fiction]

This isn't related to the following case is it?

http://www.theanswerb.../Question1048443.html

[Bobbisox]

this is shocking and it is bullying in the workplace
stand up to them Florie, don't go to his Dad, show them you will not put up with this childish behaviour

[Florie1234]

Factor30 I don't think so! I hope not anyway!!

[LoftyLottie]

The boss needs to talk to the other workers in my opinion and quite bluntly stress that he has noticed the way you are being treated, assumed it was because you are going out with his son and that he expects all staff to be treated fairly and the same, much as he himself does, and this sort of behaviour won't be tolerated.

[LoftyLottie]

And make sure that you never talk to your boss about anything other than work affairs during work time.

[factor-fiction]

Florie, have you discussed this with your boyfriend so he knows how concerned you are, as I'm sure he'd mention it to his dad (your boss) who may not otherwise realise just how much of a problem this is for you.

[237SJ]

It would take a lot of guts but you could get them all together and have a word. Ask if anyone has any "issues" with the fact that you are seeing the boss` son. Say you have a few concerns about the way you perceive you are being treated and are uncomfortable with the remarks they have been making. They obviously feel a bit insecure about your relationship with the management and would probably want reassurance that you haven`t (yet) spoken to anyone about it. You would need to reassure them that you have are not received any kind of preferential treatment due to your friendship with the son and have no wish to be treated any differently than anyone else. Ask if anyone wishes to say anything and if they don`t, then tell them you hope that is the end of the matter. They might accept you after that, they might not but you will have done your bit.

[Noraq]

What 2 planks said...sorry.
You will always be one of 'them' now...never one of 'us'

[Florie1234]

Thanks for everyone's answers. We've just had a staff meeting and our boss warned everyone about the consequences of bullying in the workplace and that he wouldn't hesitate to fire anyone on the spot. He said everyone gets treated the same by him until they do something wrong and then he'll have them out the door. He called me into his office about the work that was deleted and the person who was responsible was made to do all the work again themselves in their own time otherwise they'd have gotten fired. I told my boss I am considering handing in my notice and he said it'd be a huge shame because I'm so good at my job but he doesn't want me to be unhappy and he'd do everything he could to help me with whatever I decide to do next. He said his son has spoken to him about how unhappy it is making me and his dad said that it's the last thing he wants, he said he thinks a lot of me as a person and as a worker and just wants me to do what is best for me. He said not to leave until I have something to go to and in the meantime he will have a word with people he knows in the industry and see if there is anything out there for me in a similar position and company.

[rsvp]

this post and the one Factor 30 gave a link to have to be connected surely?

[joko]

you should hint to them that actually your position could be a benefit to them.. in that you have insider knowledge and could get them better conditions etc if you tried...

i am not suggesting you do anything but give them the impression that your position is a good thing rather than bad...they may begin to come round

obviously it will be fake though and you will unlikely ever be mates but at least their behaviour might become more bearable...

or

pull rank, and tell them you will use your position if they harrass you and they wont like it...so their will be a certain amount of fear...

the fact is here, nothing will make them like you...as they dislike you for no reason already...they sound like a rotten bunch

if you want to try and become mates again, i suggest trying to get them all together an talk it through...take cakes and tea and set up a meeting perhaps?