Women attraction

[jibjab]

Let me explain, I am a very good looking young lad (or so I am told), but do not have the gift of the gab and thereffore have never really been a big hit with the ladies despite my looks. Why is this? Is it because I dpont love myself? I saw Eastenders last night and I get the feeling women like men who are cocky / confident.

I just wish i knew where i was going wrong or if i could have some of twhatever grant mitchell has been taking.

I know of local people who are ugly as sin but treat women mean and this seems to get women flocking??

comments?

[sarahbowen82]

i am very confused - i have just posted to your previous thread asking about girlfriend advice - are you single or not??

[David H]

There are two aspects to attracting women as you've spotted. What you are given by nature and what you do about it. It's proved by a couple of men I know with no points on the appearance side but they know the trick for getting women. If you keep their interest and a relative superiority until you 'succeed ', then there's no need to maintain the superior attitude. Sad but true, in my experience if you don't appear to be 'the boss' (in a nice way) many women won't respect you and just 'see you as a friend', which is like giving a fish a pair of gloves.

[Lord Copper]

Men and Women are attracted to a mixture of looks, personality, and material things (car, house). If you lack in one area you can make up for it in another. I would suggest in your case Jibjab, that you try some reading matter other than Lads Mags. Maybe try to develop some new interests, a person with broad taste increases their personality factor. There are ways of improving your attractiveness in all three of the criteria listed above.

[mimififi]

perhaps you are going to the wrong places and meeting the wrongs ladees. You don't wanna be like grant, take a leaf out of Alfie's book instead.

I fell for my hubby cos of his Brain and because he was not like the men I had met before who had been hurtful and nasty. He is quiet, gentle, hard working and very clever. He has always felt like he does not have the 'gift of the gab' but frankly, I didn't want a man like that who'd make me feel a million dollars for a while until he got bored; I wanted a man who would make me feel like priceless Diamond forever. Someone who knew me and who had my interests at heart, not his own. A father for my children who would be devoted and faithful to us above all others. Guess, what, That's what I got.

Stay as you are, develop who you are. Don't try to be someone you're not. If you are a shallow cocky person; you'll pull a shallow cocky person.

When you are in your 80s those blokes wont be dashing anymore, they will have who they have become. You will be so much more.

[hellfire71]

sweethearwhat is your problem?

grnt mitchell is in my opinion a minger,and i have never had a problem with men.be who you are sweetie,its your signiture,and women will only ever find it sexy or not.dont evr try to be something yr not!

Loe yrself and others will love you- maz

[joko]

David H - you are wrong! If a bloke came up to me and started acted superior he'd get a bad response from me. I'd feel like I had to take him down a peg or two as opposed to liking him more.

That may be how it appears to you, and I am sure some women would go for that, but myself and most girls I know would be turned off by that.

Its a fine line between confident and charming, and cocky and arrogance - guys have to find the balance, as once the flag goes up, its very hard to get down again.

[Dakota]

Joko, I think I know what David was trying to say, I don't think he meant it as being the superior in the relationship.

I prefer a man who can "rein me in" so to speak. The relationship *is* conducted with an even balance. The only example I can think of is that if I bat my eyelashes when I want something, he will oblige me but there will be times that turns round and says "no" to me. I am with someone who is a pushover then I tend to lose interest / respect for the gentleman in question. Does that make sense? :s

Jibjab - as far as your question goes, please don't change on little bit. The Grant/Phil Mitchells of the world are too much of the extreme of what I just said up there and to be honest thery're not very nice people. Who the heck wants a man that goes around everyone?? How you look is only part of the attraction, it's also about your personality and how you conduct yourself.

Please try not to sorry yourself, there is a woman out there who will appreciate and love you for who you are x

[atolhurst]

To me, personality is paramount. A large number of my girlfriends and I agree that men tend to focus more on physical attriubutes than women (this may not be the concensus of the whole female species - I am merely commenting of what my friends and I have discussed on the subject).

I dated a guy for a while - nothing to write home about looks wise, and he was also bright bright ginger. "Yuck" you may say and I absolutely adored him (as did a majority of females I knew, annoyingly!) because he had such an attractive personality.Turned out as a huge womaniser, but you just couldn't help but like the guy!

So, my advice from a female perspective - work on your gift of the gab as you put it. Whether women like cocky, or bad-boy etc is entirely a personal thing to each individual - but I do think that the ability to hold your end of a decent conversation up, is crucial in attracting people.

You could be a cocky so and so which might attract a certain type of lady, but it's hardly the basis for a relationship (if that's what you're after - if you're not then scrub this paragraph).

But if you're not naturally a cocky sort, then don't even try to be something you're not because that just doesn't work. I watched with some amusement my younger brother (18 at the time) who is a relatively popular kid with average looks try and turn himself into a cocky so-and so (which he's not by nature) to attract the ladies and it didn't work at all because you can't hide your personality! Hilarious at the time though!

Good luck!!

[Andy008]

The old cliche that women love a ******* is undeniably true. I'm often told I look like a member of the FBI Most Wanted list, but it's done me no harm. You don't have to be good-looking to pull birds but admittedly it does help.

[Yingying1987]

Well some girls i guess do love a cocky guy i admittidly but not always. The thing with cocky boys is that they ooze confidence they just look and act so comfortable in their skin who doesnt love a guy who comfortable with who he is.

Another thing is that cocky guys tend to have a " i dont care" attitude so they will chat up girls and check girls out to let the girls know he is interested and so obviously hed probably have more of a chance with a girl as the girl actually can tell he wants her. While "nice" guys tend to be on the safer side and wouldnt do that and put himself out like that.

[yellowduck]

OK, first of all, I hate cocky, pleased with themselves guys, it's such a turn-off to me. Having said that, if you walk into a room who are you going to notice - the confident guy who's talking loudly and looking animated, or the guy in the corner. I for one, love quiet guys, but at the same time, I only end up fancying these guys once I've been introduced to them and have chatted to them for a while. I don't necessarily spot them and immediately fancy them simply because they're arguably less noticeable for the pure and ridiculously simple reason that they're not as noisy! So, basically what I'm trying to say is don't change. If you'd like you could maybe try and be a bit more confident but I'm a firm believer that everyone meets a match (even if its not a soul mate) and whether this is an instant attraction or a relationship that matures over time, it really doesn't matter. Hope this helps.

p.s. anyway I wouldn't be worrying about it too much if you're already in a relationship. There are some far more hopeless cases out there than you (including me)!