Quizzes & Puzzles5 mins ago
Is it best to avoid sleeping with him?
I am going on a 'date' with my ex (we split up 4 months ago) on Saturday. I'm not sure exactly what his intentions are. However, he wrote me a sweet letter recently saying he had regrets, had n't appreciated me properly etc. Needless to say I'm very wary and nervous about seeing him. I still love him but was let down quite badly when we split up. I want to hear him out and take it from there, without jumping into bed. The problem is I can imagine doing just that if I get swept along by things...do people think it would be a mistake if that did happen?
Thanks
Answers
No best answer has yet been selected by bowannabow. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Arrange to meet him somewhere neutral - not somewhere you used to go out together. Explain up front nothing is going to happen and that you will be going home alone. Arrange for a mate to pick you up at a pre-arranged time. Stick to it.
If he's genuine, he won't mind. If he isn't, why would you want to go to bed with him anyway?
Oh, and for the record, I wish someone had given me the above advice on one or two occasions! It's never worked out well for me.
Having been in this situation myself, saying "I'm not going to sleep with him" is easier said than done and you're right Bow, getting swept along is a commoin problem.
If you do hear him out, believe him 100% and fall instantly back into his arms then sleeping together isn't going to hurt anyone. But if you're not sure about what he's saying, or you'd prefer to see how it goes for a little while to make sure he's not just in it for a quick romp, then holding off until you're sure might be a good idea. I would imagine it wouldn't be so hard to move on if it transpores that ultimately, nothing comes of the date, if you haven't got that awful thought "but we slept together - I must mean something to him" to mull over in your head, constantly.
If it is your intention to stand your ground, may I recommend not drinking too much (if indeed you do drink at all) as decision making when under the influence is not always logical and thus not drinking would help avoid the potenial "oh sh*t" feeling the morning after if you wake up and wonder what on earth you were thinking last night.
I might also mention that (and this is only my opinion) writing a letter to divulge ones feelings is quite a cop out - is he eight?? It may be that he feels uncomfortable, but you were together previously and are quite familiar with each other, so why he is unable to say these things out loud puzzles me slightly, especially if rekindling something with you is important to him. But that might just be my approach.
Related Questions
Sorry, we can't find any related questions. Try using the search bar at the top of the page to search for some keywords, or choose a topic and submit your own question.