how to get over someone when..

[s-alexander]

how are you meant to get over someone when we ended it for no reason apart from we werent going to see each other for a while and there was always the expectation from everyone that we would get back together but it just never happened. now that time has passed and we are in the same friendship group and i see him every time i go out because we have the same friends. we had a drunken kiss a month ago but we had both had alot to drink and he said after it was a mistake and now we had just achieved the right balance, we speak once in the week maybe and then usually see each other in a group at the weekend and we were friends but not too close, but this weekend he had had alot to drink and tried to kiss me again, i know it was just the alcohol but how am i meant to get over someone when im in this situation? i have no way of avoiding him and keeping a distance unless i find myself completely different friends which isnt an option

[cazzz1975]

you need to both sit down, sober, alone and discuss what is going on.

[s-alexander]

its hard though because he isnt the type to talk about something like that and after we talked about it the first time we kissed after we broke up it was really awkward for a while and i dont want to put our friendship at risk because its important i remain friends with him

[cazzz1975]

you have to look at your options

a) talk to him, ignore the awkwardness, otherwise you will still be confused

b) when you see a situation arising, avoid him.

[boxtops]

You must address it, whether he's "like that" or not. Otherwise it's going to keep happening. Don't sit or stand next to him, don't be available.

[s-alexander]

what if i want to get back with him? i dont know how to deal with the situation because i only dont let him kiss me because i think he is only trying because he is drunk and it will make things more awkward but last time he kissed me i said it was a mistake and then the next day i tried to talk to him about it because i didnt mean that and he was very brisk and blunt and just said it shouldnt have happened and its because of that situation that im very hesitant to go back down that route

[TTG]

Sorry but it sounds like he does not want you anymore. Trust me a man will make it very clear if he wants you.

Good luck for the future. You sound good...hope you meet the right man next time.

[cazzz1975]

then you have to talk, if you want more from this you will have to get past the awkwardness..

[cazzz1975]

at least you will know where you stand so that you can move on if you have to.

[boxtops]

You have to think very hard whether this is what you want. If you want it, then go for it, but sit down with him when he's NOT drunk, and talk about it. You can't have a relationship with a bloke who won't discuss it.

[4getmenot]

He's keeping me on a string, only way is to avoid him I'm afraid. I had a bloke like that and in the end I changed alot of my friends because of it

[cathfromsaron]

i would agree with above advice, and also attempt to see other people and widen my circle of friends and interests too! i know its hard! xx

[puddle-duck]

I agree with the others, you need to speak to him. If he says he just wants to be friends then that's fine but you need to tell him to stop with the mixed signals. It isn't fair on you especially if he knows you're still keen on him.

[joko]

happpened to me once.

I was on a course with him, which continued for 5 months after we spilt for seemingly no reason... he was crying etc, so was i ...everyone was shocked an convinced we'd get back together but it was just tough for ages wondering if we would, we did kiss twice but then he went weird again.

really i think you just have to go through it ...though if the course hadnt ended and i didnt see him anymore i dont know how long it would have lingered...

sorry but theres no answer or trick...you just have to let it pass...and try to avoid him

[ladybirder]

Sorry but he's enjoying keeping you hanging on, just a little drunken kiss now and again to make sure you're still waiting. Find someone else more worthy of you is my advice.

[smart1]

I feel strongly that friendship can't happen after a break-up. There is usually one half of the break-up wants to stay friends in the vain hope that one day the other will 'realise' they made a mistake. The other half of the break-up is usually indifferent as to whether the friendship continues or not.

[AlBags]

I usually have a Pepperoni Pizza .. and that's it.
Next!

[Barmaid]

I've been exactly here. The only way to deal with it is to talk about it. That's if you want to save the friendship. The chap with whom this happened for me is now one of my dearest friends (he was before we got together which we both acknowledged was a huge mistake) - he is also now a friend of my OH. We could have ignored it and I might have lost a mate - neither of us were prepared to do that.

It's a difficult subject broach but worth it.

[bloaterbum]

that's a tough one like you say unless you change your friends