Jokes of the day

[hollie1586]

A woman goes to the doctor and she has a piece of lettuce stuck in the top of her knickers. Doctor says "whats wrong here then?" woman says "oh doctor...that's just the tip of the iceberg"

This is my joke of the day...whats yours?

[Prudie]

You should go in Summertime DT, less chance of Green Ice

[cazzz1975]

woman buys a bag of potatoes from the greengrocers, then complains

woman: these potatoes are full of eyes
grocer: they should be enough to see you through the week..

[bigbadmarty]

Took my cross-eyed rottwweiller to the vet . He held his head and looked into his eyes . " I'm sorry but I'll have to put him down" said the vet , "Just because he's cross-eyed ? " I complained . "No , he's heavy " replied the vet ....

[DTCwordfan]

Due to a water shortage because of budget problems in Greece , Athens swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8...

[Fanriffic]

I went to the supermarket today and said,
“I want to make a complaint. This vinegar has lumps in it.”
He said “Those are pickled onions.”

That's one of my favourite Tim Vine jokes.

[askyourgran]

rofl DT......... Gadaffi's sunglasses

[jno]

do keep up, Fanriffic

Woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gives her one.

[spotit3]

Thanks for the jokes all, was feeling lonely but the have certainly cheered me up.

[Fanriffic]

A man buys his wee four year old nephew a jigsaw for his birthday.
The poor wee guy lost three fingers when he switched it on.

Taking about birthdays.
I bought my girlfriend a pogo stick for her birthday. Well, she went through the roof.

[marval]

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom!

[RATTER15]

A guy walks up to the librarian and asks for a book on innuendos, The librarian says, just a minute, I'll take you up the back passage and give you one.