Ex's Birthday

[maxpowe2010]

Hi,
Well me (male) and my ex girlfriend broke up at the start of november (were both in our 30's)
Yep it came as a shock, as everything going well - talk about a future etc, reitterating our love for each other... and then one night I got "Jealouse" cos he ex was texting her at midnight when we was trying to sleep (I was angry at the time n the fact he kept texting after she told him to stop - it werent jealousy)

Well anyway the following day, she said she needed time to think about things so I agreed to give her space.. Few days later she dumps me, due to the way I behaved that night and that she "doesnt do Jealousy" so I did the usual ask questions etc but she didnt want to talk so I left it..
over the week there was a few texts back and forth, basically me saying that I understand that she needs time on her own etc.. I get the one message saying "you just dont get it I dont love you" so I left it with - "if that was the case why reiterate it everyday to me that you do/did" her reply dont know.!!

Anyways a couple of weeks pass and I go meet her in town to get some of my clothes off her.. Shes very distant and makes apoint of telling me she's been on dates n going out with a friend tonight (I didnt phase or ask q's just said good for you, you deserve to be happy).. then she starts to mention "I know you want answers" so I said yeah like why say you wanted a family with me (She was the one that kept bringing up that it was the right time for us - not that I complained).. Her answer "Its beacuse I knew you wanted to hear it" that p**** me a little and of course I continued to ask questions and reasons and she still pointed to the fact I was jealouse (Why would i be jealouse SHE was with me and happy with me!!! - so I thought)
Well it angered her that I was asking q's - and then said I think you should go and walked off... On Train back I sent her a text saying sorry for upsetting you and making you angry, it wasnt my intentions....
Following day message recieved saying you just made me angry - I appologised again - her reply just forget it now. so I left it as that...
Later the evening I get another text from her saying "Please dont contact me again" - i asked what brought it on she says its for the best for both of us (of course I was like What The Funicular after everything we been through??) so I jsut sent her a msg back asying " If thats what you want then I respect your wishes, take care" last thing from her was "cool, good luck".
Now the last I heard from her was 20th Oct. We split 3rd Oct. I havent harrassed her, texted her or anything since 20th (between 3rd n 20th it was only replies to her texts - no malice, no anger, no blame or any horrid stuff).

Finally: My question is - her birthday is next weekend...
As I have said Im respecting her wishes, and that she doesnt want me to contact her.. would sending her a card be inappropriate? or even a message on FB (She did remove me as a friend and block me - but unblocked me (21st) as certain messages and videos she put on my wall have appeared)

[Gavmacp]

Leave well alone!

[Gavmacp]

Sorry my reply was a bit short.
Sent an ex roses but they were the wrong colour. Did not know there was a correct colour of Rose that you should send an ex.
By doing nothing you cannot be accused of anything but actually by doing nothing you can!

[Prudie]

Goodness, she couldn't have made it plainer and you are just hurting yourself by wondering. Don't send her anything.

[woofgang]

Looks like for whatever reason she has finished with you. Fr your own sake move on....no card, no FB no nothing would be my advice

[maxpowe2010]

did actually think say around dec time send her a letter just asking how she is.

As I said, theres a lot she went through over the past few months and confided in me, we were very close and the split just didnt come to a shock to me but friends / family (her's and mine) aswell

[Philtaz]

Don't bother sending anything and move on......sharpish!

[B00]

My God, that's one hell of a wall of text innit?

Anyhoo...I got to the end, finally and agree with everyone else, the girl's not interested, leave her alone and don't even think about sending her a letter in December either, that's just weird.

[maxpowe2010]

Most the dating advice site etc mention about sending a little "hi how you doing" letter.
I'm just most probably being stupid in hoping about getting back with her. Just seems a stupid little thing to split up over.

[B00]

Yes, but you're not dating.

Leave her alone before she gets a restraining order put on you.

[snags]

You're in denial...

[Jenarry]

I agree. don't send her anything fb/card or otherwise. it definitely doesn't sound like she would appreciate your gesture in any way. i would treat yourself to something instead...and i hope you start feeling better about things soon.

[maxpowe2010]

sorry I meant get back with your ex advice sites to start dating again.. sorry for confusion...

[Maydup]

You're hurting and it'll take a while longer to get over this split, but you must try your hardest to move forward. No looking back over your shoulder, just face front and keep walking.

In other words don't send anything or message her now. She was your previous life and this is your new one. Think about what you'd really like to do for Christmas other than be with her and start planning it. Treat yourself to a wild week away or catch up with family somewhere. What ever you do, do it for yourself and no-one else. Good luck

[stokemaveric]

could you run that by me again please???

[Prudie]

The most likely way she might be interested in you again is if you don't contact, appear to not care and better yet go out with someone else. I'd also say that texting an ex while you were both presumably in bed at midnight is not appropriate in a committed relationship IMO. You seem to be too trusting.

[maxpowe2010]

it was her ex texting her and she was ignoring it - the guy was drunk and saying detremental things (she showed me the texts) - it was only till he tried calling that I said tell hime to Foxtrot Oscar which she did ina txt n then switched off the phone..
I have had no reason not to trust her, trust is a very huge thing to both of us.. both her's and my ex had cheated (not with each other).. so you can see and understand that when telling someone how they felt we wanted to make sure that it was the right thing to do and say... but thats in the past and cant change that.

[cathfromsaron]

don't do it!