Friend in hospital

[Maydup]

I've been to see a friend in hospital today; she's been in for a couple of months now and will be there over Christmas and beyond.

Here family including a middle aged daughter, will go tomorrow and again mid week next week, but not over Christmas. She says her daughter is really busy and once Christmas is here, likes to be with her own family. Can you imagine having a Mum in hospital at Christmas and not visiting?

[LoftyLottie]

It's my fault Maidup - I shouldn't have made the comments I have, but it is something I feel strongly about. My Mum's friends made me feel very bad and were always passing comments to me. Little did they know what I went through. She was a lovely Mum when I was young but expected so much of me as she got older and never had a kind word to say about me to anyone.

[funnygirl]

I am sure I would make the effort to see my Mum on Christmas Day if she were still alive. Even if it is in the evening for an hour.

[daffy654]

I've been attacked both physically and verbally before for saying I hate my mum Lottie.

[quinie]

I feel so sad for those of you who have no closeness with parents. I agree that we shouldn't make judgements if we don't know all the circumstances . Those of us who have loving parents or who are much-loved parents are truly blessed. This lady is lucky to have a kind, caring friend like you Maidup. It would be nice if some of the family could just pop in for a short visit.Your friend seems to have understood why her daughter isn't going to visit on Christmas Day but is probably hiding her disappointment.

[Caran]

I could never do anything right for my mother, everything was wrong. She criticised my appearance all the time. "If I had legs like yours I would permanently wear trousers". If i grew my hair she preferred it short, If I had it cut she preferred it long. If I had short sleeves she would tell me to cover my boney arms up. She really did chip away at my confidence. She died 20 years ago and I have never recovered my confidence. I agonise what to wear and am so critical of my appearance. I understand where everyone is coming from, it is not compulsary to love your parents, it must be great if you do.

[Maydup]

Thanks Quinie, you're absolutely right she is disappointed and although I don't know the details of her relationship with her daugher, I do know that she not a bad person.

[micmak]

I have noticed on this thread that all animosity is between mother and daughter. My father put down my elder brother at every opportunity. When he died (brother not father) aged 35 he started on me. I think it is/was down to superiority as in I am better than you. My mother on the other hand treated my sister as bad.

[Postdog]

not too much detail!! - could have just said she was loopy......

[craft1948]

I loved my mother very much but we never really got on. She lived in a nursing home for the last 5 years of her life and the one day I would always visit her was Christmas Day as to me Christmas is family time.

[welshlibranr]

No way!........I would be there every day!.....

[ummmm]

I think this thread is rather sad.

I answered on the presumption that Mother and Daughter got on....

[fredkins]

I never got on with my father,he used to beat us with his belt, not talk to me for months, but when he was diagnosed with cancer I was the first one there to take care of him.He died over 20 years ago and I still miss him, I think the good times still out way the bad times as far as remembering goe's.