Masterchef - The Professionals
Film, Media & TV18 mins ago
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after the honey moon i will light a red candle
not because i'm sad, but cos my wee man hurts
when our child is born i will light a blue candle
unless the kids ginger
in which case the candle will be black
and i will strike you for bearing a ginger child.
after your dog dies i will light a green candle
that smells faintly of chloroform
cos i'm bored of your chat and you need to shut up
and stop greeting about the damn dog
it only had 3 legs
anyway youve still got that ginger abomination
to fuss over.
after our divorce i will light a candle that is orange
to signify my contempt for you.
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