Can he do this?

[kat2206]

Further to my post back in Sept, I finally saw the light and got rid of my cheating partner. As we were meant to be getting married this August, I obviously cancelled the wedding, lost all the deposits amounting to approx £2,000.

He's now demanding that I pay for the month of December when we were still living together, which isn't an issue, but he is refusing to acknowledge that he ought to pay me half of the deposits that I lost, unfortunately wedding insurance doesn't cover dirty, cheating gits!

So should I pay my half of the mortgage payment or hang on until he gets it in his head that if he hadn't had the affair then we would still be getting married etc...

Apparently he has been to see a solicitor who has told him that he is not liable to pay for half of the lost deposits... I know you can't get someone to pay on moralistics but surely he should offer something?

What would you do?

[kat2206]

Sorry, allow me to expand.... The mortgage, title deeds are all in his name... And he's also hanging on to my furniture, personal possessions until he gets the money from me.

[boxtops]

I'd cut my losses, kat - you left (and well done for that), so I'd just pay up and move on (as I have done in the past....). I don't know the legal position, but since it was your decision to break, not his, it could be argued that it's you that initiated the fact that the wedding's not happening. I'd just get on with it.

Re the mortgage, if I were you I would make a schedule of everything you've been liable to pay out on since you split, which might make his half-a-month's mortgage claim look pretty pathetic. If he should sue you which he sounds rat enough to try it, then at least you'll be prepared.

[woofgang]

I'd get legal advice myself and get out of the entanglements as soon as I could, take the lesson and move on...what will you do if he starts trashing/ selling your belongings?

[boxtops]

^ You hadn't posted the second bit when I started writing. Are you talking big money for the half-month mortgage, if he's illegally detaining your belongings? Under that situation, I'd just pay, kat, I really would, just to get shot of him from my life.

[kat2206]

I guess I can't do much if he trashes or sells my stuff, I spoke to the police and all they would do is attend when/if I ever get my stuff to break up any conflict.. I'm thinking the same Boxtops, pay him off and start again. Hes now trying to get me to pay his vets bills as apparently my dog (which he still has) has attacked his dog... All I have is his word that my dog did this, as there are 3dogs in the house... So it could have been him or indeed his other dog..

[kat2206]

Boxtops, the sum is around £550. Depending on whether he's going to be a *** and put the onus on me for his vets bills!

[boxtops]

Kat - to add to the above, I'd go see a solicitor. They can demand your stuff back, and get it all on a legal footing.

Is your dog still at his house then? - if so, who's paying for its food, etc.?

[tamborine]

Mortgage etc is in his name, so you dont pay. If wedding debtors confirm he was to be groom, he can be sued for costs, if only 50%.

Send him a registered letter confirming you will collect your possessions within 14days; if he refuses you access call the cops.

[kat2206]

He's paying for his food etc but charging me £10 a day for the pleasure... Even though he's refusing me to go and get him.

[boxtops]

For goodness sake - what a money-grabbing mean vengeful bloke. Seek legal advice, do it on Monday. Enough.

[tamborine]

grab him by the bulls & kick his ass; dont roll over & give in. Get your dog when you send letter & let him sue you.

[kat2206]

God knows.... Hahaha.

I caught with her back in Feb last year, he totally denied it which I stupidly fell for and then in Sept she called me and told me everything... He's with her now, which I'm totally ok with, in fact, I saw her in the local a few weeks ago and had a lovely chat with her and wished her the best, she's going to need it!

[NOX]

Sweetie, it's honestly fairly simple, don't pay him, it's not your responsibility, hire a van and notify the police that you are afraid of what he will do when you collect your stuff so would like an officer there to prevent a breach of the peace- and go and get your stuff- all of it including the dog in one fell swoop. The let him whistle Dixie for his money.