As teetotaller, I have been drunk twice in my whole life - the first time just to see what it was like. During that experience, I attempted to rush into the toilet at a friend's house to relieve my aching bladder. Being somewhat tired and emotional, Ii skidded on the polished floor and smashed the toilet roll holder off its screws. My friend's parents were amazed when I fessed up and paidf for a replacement, not that i had done it, but that I had been intoxicated at the time, which they had never known before.