Who to live with?

[Purplewitch]

I am at university, living in a house off campus with 5 other people who i was living with last year in halls. 3 of these, i would consider to be my friends, whereas the others i just tolerate, but would not choose them to be my friends if i wasn't living with them.

One girl i cannot stand being around, she is the cause of many arguments and general bad feeling and tension around our house. However, my house mates and i cant tell her how much we dont like her, (i seem to hate her much more than the rest).

It's my final year next year, and i need to sort out living arrangements pretty soon, but i don't know who to live with.

Should i move out of my friendship group and find someone who i don't really know that well, if at all, or find another circle of friends and live with them (although we're not as close and they want to live together).

My other option is live with a group of 5 boys, 3 of which i am close to, but being a girl, would this be odd? (i do have a boyfriend)

I'm really not happy with who i'm living with now but i really dont know what to do!!

The only other thing is that one other friend who i am not living with at the moment, wants to live with me next year, which i would like, but we never seem to socialise outside our housemates, and i think she wants to live with my housemates next year too :(

Any suggestions as to what i could do would be greatfully received, thanks a lot!!

[mastadon]

just finished uni myself and had similar problem at end of first year. would it be possible to discuss with people you do like if one or more would consider living with you, without the disliked one(s). if your goin into your final year you really don't want to be stuck with extra hassle, there's enough there already believe me. def best to try and get it sorted out even if it does cause bit of mayhem now. Good luck

[Supernick]

In my second year I shared with 7 other people (5 girls 2 boys) in a large house, and during the course of the year one girl that had been really sweet in the first year just became a total nightmare to live with. It soon became apparent that we all felt the same way becasue she would be particularly spiteful to people all the time. One of my regrets is that we didn't ever talk to her about it. We chose to just ignore her most of the time which was in hindsight not a very mature option, and I wonder if we had taled to her what we could have changed, but none of us had the balls. I would try and speak to her, and explain how you feel, but ultimately your home has to be a place you can relax, so you may have to say eventually that you no longer want to live with her.

As for living with 5 lads - in a perfect world it wouldn't matter and everone would feel perfectly secure about these things, but if I was your boyfriend it would make me feel a bit uncomfortable!

[Fran666]

I never live with my friends- always move in with strangers. I find it's a way better move. No risk of falling out with my mates and can do what I like, when I like; can go out with my housemates if I like, don't if I dont want to and don't offend anyone.

[c00ky83]

Some of my mates live in a 5:1 blokes:girl set-up, so it's not all that bad. I think she keeps 'em in check. However, I've seen how larger groups can disintegrate and end up at war...NOT what you want in your final year! Consider a small group, say 3/4 who you get on well with.

[Scarlett]

In my first year I lived in halls- great- in my second year I shared a house with pals, and also lived with my boyfriend. In my 3rd year I had so many options and was so confused, I ended up moving in with 4 BEd lesbians who were all older than me! I only knew one of them. I spent my 3rd year having great social fun, but because I could lock myself away at home, I worked and revised very hard and did really well in my exams. I was still good friends with all the people I had previously lived with, but my "home life" was stress free and I could totally do my own thing. No politics. It was great! I recommend you do your own thing and live as peacefully as possible. your exams are coming up!!

[Supernick]

I would like to add however, that I wouldn't have missed living with my uni friends for the world, and consider the best times of my life. There was always something fun going on, even if we were supposed to be revising! Great days. If you can stay good friends then there's nothing like living in a house like that.

[Purplewitch]

Thank you to everyone who has answered so far, i'm still thinking about what to do, and it turns out that i dont have to live with my other friend any more, and she does want to live with my housemates, so i think i might just find myself a new bunch of people to live with and cut my losses. Good decision? :S

[funnywebsite]

Definitely move in with the boys. They are usually a good laugh plus you can be harsh with them and they do not hold a grudge. Girls are more sensitive. I work with a large group of men and it is always a good laugh.