Optimistic or a Realist

[pips1]

I am a positive person by nature and always try and count my blessings. However, even though I congratulate everyone who announces their engagement and/or marriage, and genuinely wish them all the happiness in the world, my experience is that a relationship can end as quickly as it takes to open a door and walk out! This happened to me years ago and to endless of my friends since! One minute you are happy to be alive and the next they walk out and because they have officially 'left you' they are free to do whatever they like with whoever, I don't think there is a hurt quite like it to be honest, but still try to be happy for people and not appear bitter. Am I too optimistic that things will change, I know a lot of people are happy but there seems to be an awful lot of us who are single now and lonely :(

[ummmm]

Sore point....pmsl!!!

[jackthehat]

Sore point....with me?!?!

Not at all. It is just that you are so utterly predictable in your pronouncements that since women took it into their pretty little heads to take offence at their husband's infidelities and show him the door, or run, through it themselves, the nation, as a whole, has become poorer for it; and worse than that, the 'silly little gooses' are no happier for it.

[LoftyLottie]

You can be very lonely within a relationship. If my other half had cheated I couldn't be happy or turn a blind eye. Being single doesn't necessarily mean being lonely. I would certainly feel more lonely being married to a cheating, lying man.

What I can never understand is people who dive straight out of one relationship into another because they really fear being alone and can't manage being single. Doesn't say much for their confidence if they can't manage life being alone.

[EvianBaby]

I agree with you there Lottie. It's like a desperation to be in a relationship of any kind. I can't understand the desire to start being with someone else straight away, especially if you've just come out of a serious relationship. It's a bit of a kick in the teeth to the ex aswell, sort of your entire relationship was pointless if you can move on that quickly.

I broke up with my ex in July last year and although I'm far from happy being single I certainly wouldn't want to get involved with anyone else at the moment.

[EvianBaby]

*unless they were already seeing that someone else before their relationship ended of course.

[pips1]

Exactly LoftyLottie, I can handle being alone fine, just wish I hadn't had to!!

[LoftyLottie]

I can quite honestly say that I would never consider another serious relationship. Too much like hard work - and I couldn't be bothered with all the stuff that comes with it, physical or mental!!! ;o).

I can think of all sorts of things I could do if I were single and I would have noone to answer to.

[LoftyLottie]

I just can't understand the 'little woman' types who rely on their husbands to look after them and take care of everything!!! I have always been fiercely independent. The companionship of a permanent relationship can be great though. (if you can escape it from time to time!! ;o) )

[ummmm]

Lol....That would be me Lottie. Ginge takes care of everything. I would never put up with crap though. He takes care of everything because he's good at it.

[pips1]

In terms of financial matters and running the house, paperwork, etc, I did it all as I was the best at it. Really it was the companionship I missed most and someone to discuss your day with. Like Lottie said, a new person in your life at this age is just not worth the hassle with all the baggage it brings. Keep Calm and Carry On!!

[Old_Geezer]

Anyone can be unlucky, all you can do is try to choose wisely and work at the relationship. Shows marriage ceremonies makes little difference though. Once upon a time once hitched, society disapproval would ensure you were there for the duration regardless how sensible it was to call it a day. Now you can opt to go, which makes me wonder why bother with the ceremony at all. Except for, of course, the authorities treating different couples differently in terms of tax and other things due to their own warped belief that they are allowed can manipulate folk to do what the authorities believe they ought to do even outside of any decent remit. Meanwhile hang in there and pick the pieces up again. If you don't like the single life then I'm sure you can find a suitable partner if you really wish to. Just don't send out too many bad vibes.

[LoftyLottie]

LOL ummmm. I like to be in charge - which makes him sound like a wimp, which he isn't!!! He is the first one though that I turn to when I need someone - more solid and sensible than me!!!!

[ladybirder]

>>more solid and sensible than me<< Gosh that surprises me LL, I didn't think they came more solid and sensible than you:-)

[LoftyLottie]

I might be solid and sensible online, but perhaps not in real life ladybirder ;o)

[CRAZYDUDE2]

WELL IF YOUR FEELING THAT WAY AND REALY NEAD A BIT OF CHEERIN UP THEN WHY DONT YOU HEAD OVER TO MY PLACE HEY YOU WERE HAVING A PARTY

[Slapshot]

Hmm interesting...I kind of read the riot act at my son last night for similar reason you talk about and exactly as Tinks has said earlier.

He's 25, a graduate Radiograpgher, own flat I'd say he's fine looking young lad (but as his dad I would) and always gets a lot of female attention (lucky sod....) however he can't open up to anyone. He was badly hurt by a right bunny boiler a couple of years back in his last year at Uni. She was using him and had some major issues, we are sure she just wanted him to be the knocking block as her father had been before, she left home because she didn't get on with him!! He was a few weeks away from his finals and struggle to finish his degree because of her.

Now he's scared to let go, he won't let anyone get close and there have been a string of lovely girls we've met who have lasted no more than a few weeks.

I've basically told him to pull his finger out get the boiler out of his head once and for all and start living his life before he becomes a lonely middle aged bloke!! Hopefully he'll listen!