American Medical system (for anyone a bit delicate this is rude)

[starone]

Testicle Disorder

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital.
During her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

"Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained.

"I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."

"Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman...

As they passed by the next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.

Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?"

Again the doctor spoke very calmly:

"Same illness, better health plan. "

[rowanwitch]

Reminds me of a patient who asked me to 'assist him' when I was nursing...
I suggested he should have gone to the priory and I'd sort out NHS level treatment... He was mortified when the biggest oldest porter walked into his room with his sleeves rolled up...

[Baldric]

Ah, the benefits of private health care.
;o)