The Grand National.

[10ClarionSt]

I've told this before on here, but I think it's funny. The jockey was about to mount the horse in the parade ring when the trainer said, I want you to stay just off the lead till the last 2 furlongs, then open it up and go for it. I'm sick of this horse. It's had enough chances. If it doesn't do anything, it'll be pulling a fkn milk cart tomorrow. So the jockey waits till the last 2 furlongs, then gives it the whip. On the shoulders, on the 4rse. On the shoulders, on the 4rse. But they're going backwards. Again, shoulders, 4rse, shoulders, 4rse. The horse turned to the jockey and said, will you lay off with that fkn whip? I've gotta get up at 3 in the morning.

[tenrec]

That is really funny Clarion. My OH wondered why I was laughing to myself!!

[tenrec]

Ah, BM, he was so unpolitically correct, or do I mean politically incorrect?

[Psybbo]

Then there was the one where the duke of Norfolk saw a trainer give his horse a sugar lump and when he questioned the trainer was told just a sugar lump and gave one to the duke and ate one himself.
Instructions to the jockey, Hold him up to the last two furlongs then let him go, the only ones who will pass to are me and the duke