poor speaking skills

[the freak]

i have poor speech skills and low confidence with speaking. i don't speak in groups and feel like my opinion is unimportant. sometimes i don't know how to reply when someone asks me something. what do i do?

[Englishbird]

Go on a course without doubt! - not only will you meet a load of people that feel exactly like you do, but it will hugely inflate your confidence and change your life.

http://www.skillstudio.co.uk/course/communication-skills-google1.htm

That's just one, but google Speech Therapy Confidence Course or something like that.

If you can't afford them (they are quite expensive) try your doctor, s/he may be able to refer you. If you can't explain to your doctor easily, write him/her a letter.

Good luck.

[curiousity]

hi, a great trick is to pretend you are confident, you dont have to let people know you are struggling. once you get into the act it becomes more real. try it for a while and hopefully this will help. always remember you could actually be talking to someone else thats shy- but not letting on!

Good Luck

[rsd2525]

I agree with EBird and Curio but change that name NOW. you're belittling yourself, choose Rambo or clever dick anything but that

[libertie]

Great advice from all but I particularly agree with rsd2525, as soon as I read your question the first thing I thought of was for you to change your name!!

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

[Drusilla]

I'm very tall and everyone expects me to be assertive and confident, but I'm not really. A technique I developed to get me through business meetings and the like was to pretend I'm Sigourney Weaver, the actress.
I learned to move like her, sit like her, maintain eye contact like her and adopt her assertiveness. A lot of people who only know me through work have a completely different view of my personality than my true friends.
I'm not suggesting this is a perfect system, but it helps me cope with the here and now.
I feel a course would help you as would practising conversations in front of a mirror to perfect a more confident body language.
Good luck and best wishes. Try to remember you are not alone.

[Englishbird]

btw, we all feel like freak's sometimes, honestly, even the most brazen of us. The irony is the thing that makes you feel different is the thing that makes you the same as everyone else. Next time you meet someone, take a minute to wonder what they worry about, and what keeps them awake at night, how desperately they want you to like them or not notice their scar or inabilities. Most of us are pretty busy worrying about ourselves to notice other peoples percieved 'failings'.

[*ALFIE*]

The freak - I was quite like this some years ago and throughout my teens and I had even developed a stammer. I grew out of it naturally through jobs, having more friends, and putting myself in situations etc. I now have a very mild stammer which at most times thankfully get unoticed by people. Confidence is an important factor in terms of good speech - do focus on it as much as you can.

And don't call yourself a "Freak"!

[*ALFIE*]

Just remembered a tip - I know it may be daunting, but try to communicate as much as possible with a variety of people. Start a brief conversation on anything and with almost anyone in any situation - Eg, in a shop, bus stop, local library, at work with people who you don't normally see, or if you a student, with new people on your course or ther courses.

Take a a good/relaxing deep breath, smile and just takes things in your stride.

confidence = communication = good speech

Have a good xmas and best wishes for 2006.

[Litchick]

Here here -- change that name now! You ARE AND BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE FOR YOURSELF. Whether joking or not, everytime you refer to yourself that way you are reinforcing negative behavior.

Follow the others' excellent advice and good luck and Merry Christmas to you.

[acc17]

I say just get wasted. I does wonders for confidence.

[jno]

Remember The King and I - some good advice here (and from other people above):

Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect
I'm afraid.

While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows
I'm afraid.

The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people I fear
I fool myself as well!

I whistle a happy tune
And ev'ry single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I'm not afraid.

Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far.
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are

You may be as brave
As you make believe you are

While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows,
I'm afraid.

The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people I fear
I fool myself as well!

I whistle a happy tune
And ev'ry single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I'm not afraid.

Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far.
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are....

[jno]

Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect
I'm afraid.

While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows
I'm afraid.

The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people I fear
I fool myself as well!

I whistle a happy tune
And ev'ry single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I'm not afraid.

Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far.
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are

You may be as brave
As you make believe you are

While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows,
I'm afraid.

The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people I fear
I fool myself as well!

[jno]

sorry - computer playing up - didn't mean to post that twice. Somebody feel free to report one of them. Anyway, it's good advice. Doesn't matter whether you feel confident or not, act confident. (Watch other people who do it, then imitate them.) Even if you think your opinion is worthless, offer it anyway - other people may very well find it helpful. Start by speaking more to friends or total strangers as ALFIE suggests (this is how I got more confident; it does work!). Then bigger groups of people - who are, after all, only individuals themselves.

Your real problem, I guess, isn't speaking but self-confidence - but speaking up can actually help you gain confidence, so do try it. What have you got to lose?

[WendyS]

If you have a Public Speaking Evening Class on offer in your area, do join it. Everybody will be there because they feel their speakings skills are inadequate so you won't feel out of place and everybody will encourage each other. Just getting used to hearing your voice spoken out loud in front of others will help boost your confidence.

Also, if you want a self-help technique, try reading out loud in an empty room to get used to the sound of your own voice. Pretend you are reading to somebody who is profoundly deaf so that you have to learn to project your voice across a distance.

[the freak]

thanks a million zillion everybody! i find each and every post incredibly helpful..already i feel a little more confident...merry xmas and a happy new year everyone! xoxo

[1rovert]

Relax, speak slower. Talk about something you know about. Try to read a paper to bring yourself up to date with events, you don�t have to remember everything, just the headlines, the person you are talking to will add to it. It will come to you. You don�t have to be too clever.

[Word-Smith]

Apologies for the enormous time gap between question and reply. I only stumbled across this during a search.

Depending on how tall you are, you may gain a great deal by joining the Tall Persons Club.

Check it out at TallClub.co.uk

Their social events are great fun, quite aside from all the practical info that is available. The average guy in the Club is 6' 6", the average woman 6' 1", so you would be in great company.

[suzi002]

You must have to take classes to improve it. http://medicalbillingandcodingjobs.biz