An offer I could refuse

[mrs_overall]

This morning Mr O brought me a cup of tea in bed (which made me suspicious that he was after something) and then asked
"Would you mind having a look, I think I've got piles".
Eugh!

[vinginge]

Like a lot of illnesses, piles gives the person a different smell. So no touching or peering is required. Just have a good sniff and you may be able to tell.

[AceofClubs]

Piles....Aren't they what carpet layers get??

[RATTER15]

I was always told that if you sit on cold surfaces you get piles!!

Its true!!

A few years ago a good mate of mine and myself decided to go to Spain, we travelled around Spain by train and sat on cold concrete benches in a few railways stations for a few hours at a time, on the second day I had piles, blood running down my legs the whole nine yards!!!

So first thing in the morning as soon as the chemist opened I was there ready, catch the chemist before it got busy. I was the only person in the chemist when I started explaining in English to the Spanish Chemist along with all the gesticulations, he looked at me and laughed and handed over a tube of cream, I turned to leave and noticed that every Spaniard for 20 square miles was now in the chemist and had witnessed me making a total fool of myself. I came home from a holiday with my pants still stuffed with tissue paper to soak up the blood. I hated Spain, what a dive!! and I have never had a problem with piles since and will never go to Spain again.

[boxtops]

I wonder if mrs O's sneaked a look yet....

[mrs_overall]

Note to self: dont sit on Spanish concrete

[mrs_overall]

No boxy, I havent...and dont intend to!

[RATTER15]

Mrs O, all you need is a well lubed up marigold to just pop them back in, easy!

[whiskeryron]

mrs_o, You did promise to look after him in sickness & in health, I don't think you are doing a very good job at the moment & believe me it aint bloody clever suffering with the farmer giles.

WR.

[Hopkirk]

There seems to be a lot of lavatorial and anal humour here tonight!

What's going on?

[ttfn]

mrs_o - sing to him

♫
Piles, though you Yabbie is aching
Piles, even though its hurting
When there are grapes in the eye, you'll get by

If your piles give you fear and sorrow
Piles - and maybe tomorrow
You'll find the sun will come shining through
If you just smile ☺

♫

Kiss him better, from me x

[ttfn]

I ask you - yabbie ?

;)))))))))))))))))))

[mrs_overall]

ttfn, sheer genius...but what is a yabbie?

[tonyav]

yabbie = @rse, mrs o.

[mrs_overall]

Ah, thanks Tony

[TheNovice]

one lump or two?