"Let me see your nuts again,"

[sandyRoe]

said the young woman to me at the M&S checkout this morning. The walnuts hadn't scanned.
The lady in the queue behind me seemed to smother a laugh, or maybe it was just a cough, and I bit my lip in order to keep a straight face.
Have you ever said something and immediately realised it might be misunderstood?

[China Doll]

On getting some printed out results mixed up with my colleague and finding I was still missing one, I then turned and asked her 'have you got my chlamydia?'

[ChuckFickens]

I've done similar, except I asked a woman if I could see her baps again.

[rowanwitch]

Oh yes frequently

from behind a curtain on a hospital ward... I'm trying to make it bigger...

(the image on a monitor screen) forget I said that...

Male bay...they teased me something rotten for that

[jno]

and Chuck wasn't even serving behind a counter at the time.

[ummmm]

Yes...this morning. I came home and said to my son 'I've just made two old men very happy'. He just raised his eyebrows...

[EcclesCake]

At a meeting with a rather important client shortly after returning from a winter sun break.

Client:- Have you been skiing?
Me:- No, it's an all over tan.

There was a lot of sniggering to be heard in the room.

[WyeDyed]

A French teacher I knew was teaching a group if 12 / 13 year olds, holding up items of clothing and them calling out the name.
He held up a pair of gloves, one smart allec shouts (in French) "Knickers". To which my friend replied "Don't be stupid, when was the last time you saw 5 fingers in a pair of knickers?"
The rest of the lesson was difficult, to say the least.

[Ellipsis]

http://www.theanswerb.../Question1139035.html

Result? One picture of a bullfinch and thirty five perfectly focused shots of a swinging bag of nuts

[tonyav]

Some time ago one of the girls came out of the works office ( at a place I no longer work for ) she came over to where a couple of lads and myself were working, doing some maintenance on one of the machines, she said to me Jim ( the foreman ) wants to see you in the office, I replied '' Ive just got her nipples to grease and I'll come then '' the lads were creased up with laughter and the girl scurried off red faced, It was only later I realised what I had said.

[shoota]

Yes - but I do it deliberately! :-)

[Stockethill]

Went into petshop last year and asked the guy behind the counter if he had fat balls.

[Smowball]

lol wyedyed, god thats funny !

[rowanwitch]

In the old fashioned sweetshop have you got mint balls
Suck em and see luv...

[gness]

Me to DIL. "Did Steve get his game of golf this morning?" "No, it was so foggy they just ended up playing with each others balls."

[annie0000]

In a meeting at work a few years ago and our very attractive female young junior came in wearing quite a low cut top and carrying two insulated coffee jugs which had a nice design round the to. One of the ladies in the meeting then said - "ooh Jennie, nice jugs!!" to which every male in the room collapsed in fits of laughter.

[rowanwitch]

its too easy with folk being tuned in to innuendo ooooh matron moments are so so common now...