Erections.

[bemore]

I allways turn to you guys on here whenever i need advice-but this one is kinda personal and I really need some help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recently ive got with a girl and when it comes to sex Im sometimes finding it hard to get a decent erection, it will either be hard when we start, then midway it will just go semi. Recently though (I think caus its playing on my mind) it wont get hard enough for penetrative sex. My girlfriend is so sexy, she is probably the most exciting sexual partner ive ever had. Any other man would have no probs and I dont know why its affecting me : (

I get the normal erections in the morning and when im on my own i can maintain a good strong erection. So I know theres nothing pyshically wrong with me. It has hurt my pride and Ive been getting private prescriptions from my doc for viagra. Thing is though there �55 for 8 50mg tablets and I cant afford to keep using them, plus on the long run it will knacker my health up. Im also lying to my g friend and that is what hurts the most. But im scared if i tell her that she will just get rid of me.

So bascily I wonder if anyone else has been in this situation because i would be so gratefull for there stories and what happened. Or if anyones got any links to any decent sites or ANY info whatsoever.

P.S Im 28, probably slightly underweight and could do with eating more healthily (maybe thats something to do with it?)

Thanks people

Much love

[jno]

impossible to be sure, but it sounds like performance anxiety. If you can get them on your own, weight and diet can't have anything do with it. So it may be something to do with being over-anxious to please her. The fact that you're scared she'll drop you if you don't suggests this may be the case.

Ideally, you'd tell her about it, she's laugh it off, and you'd take things more slowly, with less pressure to perform instantly, and you'd soon find you were back in the groove. Are you really sure she'd abandon you if she knew you were taking pills? It sounds like you may need to know her better.

[kira000]

I think it probably started off as a one or two time thing, but has become more of an issue now you are worrying.

The fact you seem very keen on this lass and find her very sexy, makes it even more likely that you are just finding the situation intimidating as you really want to please her and have a good time.

If you are worried what to say to her, just tell her what you said, that you think she is is the sexiest girl you have ever met, and that you just worry about pleasing her. She will probably be flattered to bits. And you wont have so much worry of her not knowing.

In terms of how to tackle it, it might sound counter intuitive, but to solve the issue, it would probably be a good idea to not push the issue for a while. Sex isnt just about the "act" itself. Try focussing on all the other stuff, and actually make penetrative sex " banned". Do anything but. really just enjoy each other and what you can do for each other, without the pressure of knowing that penetration will come after. If you do that for as long as you bear it... a week, two weeks, you should be so bursting to take it further, that the problem disappears....

(in case it helps, the reason why i suggest this is i had a similar problem with an ex, and that is what was suggested by the expert we went to see).
Good Luck!

[Banali]

Worry is like a rocking chair, it gets you nowhere but gives you something to do!

Why is a doctor prescibing Viagra to a 28 year old without any investigation into why you need it? Has he checked you out properly, blood pressure etc? You need to get the physical possibilities ruled out first.

If your doctor can't find anything medically wrong, get a referal to further help from a therapist.

[andy-hughes]

You are in a classic 'Catch 22' situation here - the more you worry about operforming, the less well you perform, the less well you peform, the more you worry ...

You just need to break the cycle.

Your girlfrienw will be delighted to find a man who isn't rushing to the finish line, but enjoying the journey instead, a refreshing change as any woman on here will tell you!

Spend plenty of time pleasingher in all ways, and as you do your confidence will grow with time - pardon trhe metaphor!

It is about mind over matter, you need to stop worrying, and just enjoy the situation, and you will find the less you worry, the better your final showdown will become.

If you are enjoying intercourse and your erection subsides, simply move back to foreplay, she will appreciate the variation, and your pleasure in her pleasure will help a lot.
It's not at all uncommon, so don;t worry about it - you will get over this feeling with time and practice.

[bemore]

I think JNO is right when he says performance anxiety. I had a honest talk with my G friend and she was all cool with it, a little bit hurt that I would think otherwise.

Had a great night with her last night, thanks from the bottom of my heart though guys for your advice.

Peace and good times : )

[jno]

good for you, bemore - it does take courage to talk about these things, and I'm glad it worked out okay. Good luck to both of you.

[jackthehat]

^ Steady, Mani...............!

[lilsecret]

Rather a 'penetrative' question Mani Hussain.

Any personal reason for your query?

[bemore]

To end your curiosity mani she does many things.

I can tell you the things she DOESNT do.

Bondage,
Dressing up as gimps.
Scat and golden showers.

Use ur imagination for the rest, whatever you think, we have/will prob do : )