Num...I was in this position when I was with my bloke of three years & he done the dirty on me. At the time, I felt like you did; heart broken, upset, angry, frustrated. I went through a whirl wind of emotions and although at this given time you won't feel like it, but, you will overcome this. You will learn to forgive & forget or move on, hopefully the latter. While it is not a nice thought, remember, millions of couples experience heartache, divorce, cheating etc. Know that you are not alone, and there are other who can sympathise with you. The best thing for you is to get your life back on track. What helped me? I got my hair cut, I had my nails done, I went on a diet, I hung out with my friends, I was rarely alone, and when I was? I kept busy. I baked cakes, went to the gym, read a book, went a bike run, wrote my long distance friends letters, I remember having a pamper night myself (facemasks and wine and a bubble bath and a dvd). Remember this guy was not your life, he was part of, and getting over him and away from the relationship you had is easier when you start living and making yourself happier without him. It gets to the point when you wake up and think to yourself 'How happy am I without him', which leads you to start living a happier life. You will feel normal, give it time. Please, leave this guy. I accepted excuses and took my ex back, but once I took him back, he knew I would tolerate him cheating again, which he did. walk away & have self respect. You will meet someone better and when you do? You'll wish you didnt waste your tears on a horrible guy! Good luck