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Schoolday bliss.
A teacher is teacher her primary class new words, and the word for today is "definitely".
Having explained the word she says "Okay class, can someone give me a sentence using the word definitely".
A sea of expectant hands go up and the teacher says "Yes Jenny".
"Well miss", begins Jenny, "I'm definitely getting eggs for tea because we keep chickens"
"No Jenny", the teacher says patronisingly, "you are probably getting eggs for tea, because your chicken might not lay eggs today or, even worse, they might die, or perhaps foxes will have taken them".
An utterl crestfallen Jenny sits down while the rest of the class look a bit puzzled.
"Anyone else" asks the teacher.
Little Johnny is the only one to stick his hand up, apart from smelly Pat, son of the local drug dealer.
"Go ahead Johnny".
"Miss, my dad is definitely taking me to see Melchester Rovers playing on Saturday".
"No Johnny" she drones, your dad is not DEFINITELY taking you to the football on Saturday. Your dad might have to work an extra shift at work, or the game might be called off, so he is probably taking you, not definitely. Anybody else?"
Smelly Pat is the only one left so she says resignedly, "Okay Pat, off you go".
"Please miss", Pat begins, "can you get lumpy farts?"
"That's a totally stupid question Pat, of course you can't" she shouts.
"Well miss, then I've definitely Sugar myself".
Having explained the word she says "Okay class, can someone give me a sentence using the word definitely".
A sea of expectant hands go up and the teacher says "Yes Jenny".
"Well miss", begins Jenny, "I'm definitely getting eggs for tea because we keep chickens"
"No Jenny", the teacher says patronisingly, "you are probably getting eggs for tea, because your chicken might not lay eggs today or, even worse, they might die, or perhaps foxes will have taken them".
An utterl crestfallen Jenny sits down while the rest of the class look a bit puzzled.
"Anyone else" asks the teacher.
Little Johnny is the only one to stick his hand up, apart from smelly Pat, son of the local drug dealer.
"Go ahead Johnny".
"Miss, my dad is definitely taking me to see Melchester Rovers playing on Saturday".
"No Johnny" she drones, your dad is not DEFINITELY taking you to the football on Saturday. Your dad might have to work an extra shift at work, or the game might be called off, so he is probably taking you, not definitely. Anybody else?"
Smelly Pat is the only one left so she says resignedly, "Okay Pat, off you go".
"Please miss", Pat begins, "can you get lumpy farts?"
"That's a totally stupid question Pat, of course you can't" she shouts.
"Well miss, then I've definitely Sugar myself".
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