As Promised To Shoota

[gness]

THE TALE OF THE ADVANCED DRIVER

One evening the AD was going to church. (I looked for God for a while) She was driving her MG Magnette and called into the little garage nearby for petrol.
Now, the MG was old but new to the AD and she hadn`t noticed that the wrap around bumper things...those chrome efforts...were a bit further from the sides of the car than they should be.
AD paid the man in the little cubby hole, jumped in the car and went.... nowhere. Something was holding the car back. Harder on the accelerator. That was when she saw the petrol pump moving. AD was driving off with the pump hose inside the bumper. Quick reverse,haul out hose and garble an explanation to cubby man and off.
Return by the same route was halted at the sight of fire engines, police cars, the odd ambulance and dozens of people watching from a distance. The road was closed. Hmmmm unusual.
AD asked the policeman who was diverting traffic if there was a problem.
"Some stupid woman drove off with the pump," he growled. "Massive petrol leak, homes evacuated!" "Oh dear." said AD.
AD watched for some time thinking...every cloud. Evacuees were being brought trays of tea and the pub up the road was doing a roaring trade. People who would have been safely in their own homes were out in the street chatting and making new friends. How nice, thought AD as she diverted home before cubby hole man spotted her.
AD found a new petrol station.
Next morning,in a nearby town,AD decided to use one of those new fangled car washes. It was long ago.
Very noisy thought AD as the brushes swirled by her window. Gosh,she thought again (quite a thinker, this lass) as the noise began to sound like the TARDIS taking off, taking a long time to do the back. And suddenly it went quiet, deathly quiet in the soap covered car....until....the arrival of the angry car wash man.
Guessed yet? Car wash brush was stuck between bumper and car.Oops, big oops.
AD has little recollection of the car wash man dragging her out of the car, removing it from his brushes and throwing the keys at her. She does recall, however,his second burst of anger when, covered in soap as was her car, he decided to chase her down the road shouting, "I`ll have you banned from every car wash in the world!" Tad excessive don`t you think?
And that is how Gness, the Advanced Driver, wrecked a petrol station and a car wash in the space of 24 hours in a stationary car.

[tonyav]

Don't go to the coven shoota, you will live to regret it ;-)

[shoota]

Do you get your parts re-furbished then?

[tonyav]

Yep, up at the A & E. lol

[DTCwordfan]

One of these days we'll have to meet up at where I had lunch - all home made and about 45mins from Collumpton and an hour from here.

http://www.theoxenhamarms.co.uk/

[DTCwordfan]

sorry there, gness, just taken a phone call from my (local) sis about my mater and the Alzheimers.....

[gness]

That would be lovely DT.

[gness]

Ma okay DT?

[DTCwordfan]

She's ok physically - it's more issues about her kitchen and pantry and getting things further cleaned up so as to keep her in her home - really not good but not as bad as it was. (We have an associated issue with her animals as well - cat and dog who are out of control).

Sister has also done a great job on tidying up the bushes and the front now looks demi-civilised.

[shoota]

I quite like this thread.........

'Gness - as promised to Shoota'

Best we post the Banns then or whatever it is they do ;-)

[gness]

Same problem here DT. I too have a lovely brother but,unfortunately a barking mad sister. x

Shoota you are either very brave or crazy. x

Off out now. May need cheering later if I haven`t got sloshed to deaden the pain.