Why Do People....

[gness]

...ask such daft questions? At a party last night I got locked in the loo. 100+ guests...a band in the garden belting out Irish music....who was going to hear me? I shouted and banged for ages until someone eventually missed me. Luckily I had taken my Guinness in with me.
Then it started. The advice from the other side. "Have you unbolted the door?"
"Have you turned the handle?" No. I thought I`d sit here and wait for divine intervention!
"Try pulling." Been trying that for months.
"Turn it left." "Yours or mine?" "Either." "It just keeps going round" "What does? The room?" "No! The bloody handle!"
"Pity you don`t have a screwdriver."
"Pity I don`t have a bloody shotgun,"
"Shall we fetch Dennis?"
"Why? I ask. "Can he get me out?"
"No, but he`s missing the fun."
Fifteen flaming minutes it took them to unstick the door!

[Psybbo]

I may switch my phone to vibrate on the scenic route, so I can honestly say the earth moved

[gness]

It`ll be the only thing vibrating in Tony`s car for some time,Sibton.