someone has asked on twitter....[seriously]

[mrsmaveric]

''is wimbledon held in london every year?''...what is the silliest question you have ever heard???...or asked???

[Psybbo]

How are you?

[gness]

OH had one son. He phoned one evening. "Hi Gness, is dad in?" "Yes. Who`s calling please?"

[Robinia]

I was battling a serious illness, my marriage had just broken down and I had two lively sons to look after. A social worker arrived, sat down and said 'Have you got any problems?'

Unreal ...but true. :)

[marval]

These made me laugh, it's an old one.

Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied where appropriate.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...

Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: And accomplish what?

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: I'm not touching this one...

Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No. Everybody stinks.

Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Yes. At Christmas.

Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.

Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: Another blonde?

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face North and you should be about right.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? (Italy)
A: Yes. Outdoors.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[MarkRae]

I've heard the Edinburgh Castle one before, maggie.

However, someone said this to me several years ago: "You mention the Second World War - presumably, there was a first one too...?"

[mike11111]

Marval, it's not often that I laugh to the point of crying but i have just done so after reading your post.

[jno]

some of those Australian questions seem perfectly reasonable. I saw a kangaroo in the street once, and I hadn't been drinking. And why shouldn't people want to know if their knives will be confiscated?

Origin uncertain:

http://www.snopes.com.../foreign/olympics.asp

[marval]

It made me laugh Mike, are people really that daft?

[MarkRae]

A question on "Going For Gold" many years ago.

"What do you call an animal with feathers?"

[mike11111]

Yes, people are that daft. Unfortunately it is too late and would take too long for me to regale you with the tales of things I have gathered from children after 30 years as a teacher.

[mike11111]

OK, Mark, I give up. What DO you call an animal with feathers?

[Sipowicz]

A Boa constrictor?

[mike11111]

That's probably it. I thought that someone was going to pop up and say something silly like dicky bird.

[Baldric]

In our local, one Xmas eve, asked by some 20something tourists staying over the holiday,
"What time does midnight mass start?"
When asked if 'midnight' gave them a clue, they decided that was too late so they would go to an earlier one.

[Canary42]

Seems a reasonable question to me, like for example :-

Is Royal Ascot held in Ascot every year ?

No, it was held in York in 2005.