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Bit of an update. Saw rhumo this aft and no more hydroxychloroquine until seen by eye clinic, she said my eyelids looked puffy (before the crying - see below - I should add) and usual causes relate to kidneys, liver and heart and mentioned hayfever. They feel swollen when my vision is blurry and it hurts a bit to look up but looks like it's lingering.
Had hands ultrasounded again and got stabbed in the bum with a steroid injection though so fingers crossed that will provide some relief. More bloods and another wee test done.
She went through some previous results though inflammation wasn't that bad when done (always the way!), ESR was up but only 46, complement up not down (don't understand that one but apparently means something going on but it can't be Lupus :)), and I apparently do have a rhumatoid factor. They are retesting Vit D to see if the treatment helped, especially with the bile acid malabsorption which could affect it.
Saw my rhumo nurse after who was fantastic (especially considering I had a good cry on her). Think it's all just been getting too much, going on for so long, especially living alone and trying to cope (and being crap at asking for help) and just so frustrated I can't seem to get a handle on all the stuff going on and new things cropping up and get on with helping it get better and trying to just bury things and by voicing it it just tipped me over the edge. She was great though and we made a plan of action which really helped.
Feel exhausted now so an early night for me I think!