Really nice people you just can't get on with?

[yellowduck]

Hey. This is following on from Aka Pixi's question about why we instantly dislike some people that we meet for no apparent reason. My question is why with incredibly nice people who you know you should love and admire just don't excite you in any way? I had loads of 'friends' like this at school who had absolutely nothing wrong with them in any way and were incredibly nice but even after having spent 8 yrs or so in their company it was still totally superficial and a chore to try and think of things to chat about. I would then start wondering how these people could have any sort of 'real' friendship with anyone! I think (without trying to sound big headed!) I'm a fairly good person, and I've never cared about labels or anything and tried my best with everyone regardless of how they are viewed by others. But sometimes it's just soooo fake even if you've known a friend for years. Has anyone else found this? xxx

[Andy008]

The trouble with people who are stereotypically "nice" is that you often don't know where you stand with them. If somebody is nice all the time, how do you know if they are sniping about you behind your back? You don't. A lot of women if asked about their ideal man, would cite niceness as a major factor. But if this is true then why are so many nice blokes single?

[NiceCupOfTea]

If you don't like someone who is seen as really nice by everyone else it's because you've seen something fake in them. Even a subliminal tweak of their eyebrows can put you off. I personally hate gushiness, but that's because I would never do it so it's probably my problem.

[indian]

Completely understand. It's because they can be a little dull for your liking? The worst thing is you can't think of any reason not to like them so feel like a nasty person.

[Vics]

Yellowduck. Yes indeed I agree with yourself and Indian. But remember it takes all sorts of people to make the world go round and it's often good to have a mix of personalities within a friendship group.

Andy 008 a "nice" man would drive me crazy. Give me one with a personality, an opinion...a bit of va va voom !

[LazyGun]

you mean french and drives a renault vics? :)

[Supernick]

I knew a bloke at university who was just so impossibly nice, that I just couldn't get on with him. He never had a bad thing to say about anyone, and was the type of person who could spill his dinner all over the floor and then say "Great, this gives me the opportunity to clean the carpet". I just couldn't get on with him, because a NEED my friends to be able to take the p*ss out of me and have a healthy dose of sarcasm and cynicism in them. Otherwise I find it hard to understand and relate to them!

[Englishbird]

I have a hard time trusting really nice people. Maybe because I'm rather direct, sarcastic and opinionated (although I try and mix this with a dose of tactfulness (not sure if that's a word)) I feel with really nice people that there is all this frustration and anger lurking under the surface. Maybe that's why they're hard to be intimate with, because you never feel like you know the real them. Or maybe we're all just miserable sods, who don't know a good thing when we see it? ;o)

[Karen2005]

Can someone post a link to Aka Pixi's original question?

Thanks.