Never apologise and never explain

[Tilly2]

Who was it that famously said something like that? Do you agree that this is a good maxim to live by. I did, once upon a time, in another life but now I'm a different person.

[dotty.]

yep gunny said that too, I think lol

shooter is on, best film for ages.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHYR0yL2n0w

[mikey4444]

Ask Mr Murdoch or perhaps Mr Diamond !

[boxtops]

I'm with joko on this - even if something's not your fault, you don't apologise for the thing but you can regret that the situation has upset someone (this part is very work-focused!)

[Tilly2]

I was referring to work, boxtops.

[boxtops]

That's all right then - yes, if something's wrong and it's my fault, I'll 'fess up straight away, no point in doing otherwise.

[Tilly2]

I would always admit making a mistake, if I had, but tried very hard not to say sorry. Nor did I try to explain how the mistake had occured.

[joko]

thats the thing tilly... you may have felt your actions were making you look strong, and calm, or stoic or whatever you imagine it was etc - but i guarantee that any one else involved will have just been thinking a lot of negative things about you... anger, irritation, sadness, and thinking you were cocky, rude, arrogant, obnoxious, cheeky, ignorant, thick, cold, calculating etc ...

[China Doll]

If I make a mistake at work I say I'm sorry, fix the situation and explain how the mistake came about and my logic behind it.... usually my mistakes occur if I've thought I've understood something and actually haven't. I would always say sorry to a patient, regardless if they're mine or not (and they're generally not mine actually), if they've had a horrid experience. I can't stand people who don't say sorry or don't explain why something went wrong because that's a) not taking responsibility for something and b) if you don't explain how you went wrong then how can other people learn from it or make sure the same mistake doesn't happen again? There's nothing strong or stoic about not saying sorry when you've cocked up or taking responsibility for you actions.

[Tilly2]

Blimey, joko. Don't hold back please.
people dont want to hear explanations and or excuses. They just want things put right. The bits I object to are ignorant and thick. I am neither.

[Tilly2]

Oh, and neither do I shirk my responsibilities.

[Duncer]

Tilly, if someone is confused then why not explain? If you are wrong then why not say sorry?

[Tilly2]

Duncer, sorry doesn't help. Putting things right does.

[joko]

i didnt say you were in particular tilly - i said thats the impression people have when you do something wrong and dont own up to it or apologise...of you and everyone who acts that way

sure people want things put right - but obviously you dont seem to undertsand that often the only way to put things right - is to apologise or explain... that is exactly what doing those two things is supposed to achieve...

that is what i mean by ignorant and thick...

[Tilly2]

I have said that I will admit to my mistakes. I will say, 'Yes, it's my fault.' I will .....................(and add whatever I need to do to put it right, if I can.)

Saying; 'Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It was because......................(whatever); doesn't put it right.

[joko]

that depends what it is.

how would you 'put right' the discovery that someone had overheard you talking about them and were upset and offended?

how would you 'put right' if you were supposed to get to someone at 3pm for a very important reason - and were unfortunately late and therefore they missed whatever it was, and it was a one off opportunity...?

[Tilly2]

Fortunately, neither of those two things have never happened. Sorry.

[joko]

you have explained and apologised there tilly, but theres really no need ... just put it right instead ... ? ;o)

[Tilly2]

My last post should have read

Fortunately, neither of those two things have ever happened. Sorry.

I know that it's both an explanation and an apology. I was trying to bring the thread to a conclusion. Some people just don't know when to stop.