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ThIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

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CailinDeas | 23:55 Thu 19th Jul 2012 | Jokes
11 Answers
We Must Stop This Immediately!
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.
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Lol, too late, it's here already

;o)
And on that note .... Goodnight.
I blame it all on Thatcher !
Is Thatchski still alive?
..barely.
Everything is further away. Local shops closed down due to lack of use.
I was complaining to my wife only yesterday that if I drop something and stoop to pick it up, the ground is definitely further away than it used to be!
-- answer removed --
I'm suffering too. :)

jem
Oh dear, who's been reading my diary?
This sounds like me lol, when I bend down to tie my shoe laces, I have a look around to see what else I can do while I am down there.

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ThIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

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