Anorexia

[{Dakota}]

Hi, I'm hoping nobody takes offence at this question, it's just a general wondering on my part, but when a girl is anorexic, she looks at herself in the mirror and she sees "fat". What does she see when she is with a girl who does not suffer this condition and is average in build etc. Does she think this other girl is fat too?

I'm into psychology etc. and am intrigued by all of this, I am not trying to be offensive :)

[racekiddo]

well....in my opinion, i think these girls aren't satisfied with themselves....they always think that its never too fulfilled or enough...they just cannot say "stop".....I guess when they look at a thin, normal girl, they think that this girl "has it all" and thay want to be better...Well, this i what I think, cause i learnt psycholohy back in college Currently, i am about to enrol into a university...but i am not pursuing psychology, although i too find it intriguing...anyways, keep researching, and I am sure you will get a more in-depth look into whatever field you wanna know. ByE! :P

[lady_p_gold]

I think it is a very good question and I suppose we will have to wait until someone either with the condition or an expert replies. My guess is that she would see both people as overweight as if she has a distorted view of herself I think her mind would compensate for the discrepancy by making the other girl seem the same.

[jake-the-peg]

There was a great psycology experiment - I'm afraid I can't remember the reference but you should be able to find it - where a mirror was set up so that it could be distorted like a hall of mirror one by a dial.

People were asked to adjust it so that they appeared with the correct dimensions.

I think most women set it showing them fatter than they actually were.

Can't remember the details a quick look suggests it was Penner and Altabe 1990 you'd probably find it on google

[funnywebsite]

Yes I reckon they think that other girls always look better them them, they feel inadequate next to other slim girls because they think they are fatter. They cannot see themselves for what they are, 'usually a bag of bones' if they let it go too far. I saw an anorexic woman a few weeks ago and she was one awful looking woman because she had lost so much weight her face was really distointed with being so skeleton like.

[Miss Zippy]

I think anorexics simply don�t compare themselves to others. When you�re that unhappy with yourself or your life, you simply don�t focus on people around you and only look inwards. I don�t pretend to know anything about anorexia, other than what I read in magazines etc, but I can see why they wouldn�t compare themselves to other girls/women. I think most of us are more critical of ourselves than we are of others, it�s just that most of us keep things in perspective. For instance, lets say a 5�5� size 12 woman thinks she has a big bum. Her 5�5� size 14 friend might have a larger bum but she might also have beautiful long, glossy hair and the size 12 friend will focus on the friend�s positive attribute and not the negative one (i.e the friend�s larger bum)! In other words, she won�t compare her bum to her friends and so will still think hers is big. P.S. I'm not a psychologist as you can tell!

[Jay70]

Can blokes suffer with it? if not why not? I've never heard of it affecting a bloke

[lilyfrog]

Apparently it is a lot more common in men than you think. And harder to identify

[judypark]

I have nursed men and women with this conditition, even a 70 year old, who eventually killed herself by overdosing on a cache of medication she had hidden in her locker. It's not just a disease of the young, though they get the greatest publicity. Sufferers actually have body dysmorphia which means the image of their body is completely distorted. It affects mainly females, usually high achievers, and very often with parents who have high expectations of them, it can also be linked to a fear of physically growing up. It's very difficult to treat and sadly sufferers often relapse. Hope this makes it a bit clearer.

[metagirl]

A lot of girls go through an "anorexic" like phase while at university - I know I did! I wasn't extremely anorexic but got down to 45kg which made me very small. Plus alot of girls I knew had varying issues with food and their body image. I think in that situation, its more of a control issue, in that you are suddenly on your own, in a new environment where everyone is young and you can do anything you want - including not eat.

I knew I was skinny and I knew that the other girls were skinny as well, but at that point I was more afraid of suddenly not being skinny, which kept me from eating normally and some days going without.

[{Dakota}]

WOW - thank you for your answers - very insightful.

I knew men and older people suffered the condition too but i just used a young woman for the purpose of my question.

Metagirl - Thank you for sharing that information with me, are you better now? Can I ask you questions about it? Please feel free not to answer if you're not comfortable doing so, but

How did you cope with not eating at all on some days? I know that if there's maybe a day I have forgotten to take my lunch to work with me, I feel dizzy by the time I am home at night and end up eating the first thing that I come across in order to stop the dizzy/sick feeling. Also, how did you cope when you went home for holidays? Did you eat or blag your way around mealtimes? How did you manage to start feeling better and start eating a normal healthy diet again?

Thanks in advance x

[metagirl]

happy to answer dakota -

how did i cope with not eating? you're right - I got dizzy. my main meal of the day was Breakfast, and I was often so hungry during the night (i would wake up sometimes with cramps during the night) that I would wake up as soon as the dining halls opened at 6am. Funnily enough, one year my roommate was a girl who had body issues as well (she used to abuse laxatives) and when I woke up early to eat, she'd wake up to go to the gym before class! We'd meet up afterwards to have a fag!

When I went home for hols I basically blagged it. My family knew something was up, but I was never sooo terribly thin that they could do more than just "tsk tsk" at me and keep pushing food at me! Which didn't work. Also, you learn how to strategize with your meals, so I would starve myself a day before going home or when I returned to school to "make up" for the days I ate somewhat normally at home.

I got better when I graduated. I think I just grew out of it.....Out of school there was a whole new world to conquer and somewhow conquering my body was no longer top priority. I hate to say it though, but being that thin was really empowering, and even though I made alot of bad decisions back then, I doubt I would have had the confidence to make half as many if I had been bigger :)

Seriously though, I'm alot better now - eat normally but I don't know if it was that experience or what, but I am very much in tuned with my body and rarely overeat and seem to know what foods my body needs, rather than give into cravings. I don't really have a sweet tooth.

Ah, I love being a woman!

[SpottyB84]

One of my friends had body issues, and wasnt what the doctors would state annorxic, but she was like a size six, and would often refuse to eat. If the thought she'd put any weight on she would not eat for ages.

Any how getting to the point, im size 14-16 and her girlfriend is a size 18 and we said to her well if she thinks she her self is fat then does she think were fat and she would basically say no, we dont look fat, its whats right for us. and when we mesured her girlfriends thights they were like the size of her waist, but she just said that her girlfriend was the right weight but that she her self was still fat. Her clothes were haning off her, and she even wore childrens clothes but she still wouldnt belive that she wasnt fat.

So basically its just there own body they see differently. Well thats the opinion that she put across to us.

[PurplePixie]

I was badly anorexic for ages (have been fine now for about 10 years) I remember looking at other people who0 were of average weight, overweight or whatever & feeling envious that they could eat & were comfy in their bodies.

I felt that there was something wrong with me that meant that I couldn't eat without becoming hugely fat. My view of my own body was completely out of focus & I always saw fat even when I was very thin. I never remember looking critically at someone who was chubby or feeling superior that I was thin because I always felt that I was failing in my mission to lose weight anyway....even when I'd nearly starved to death.

Thankfully that's all in the past!!!

[veritymoon]

i used to have anorexia/bulimia i used to see other people as lovely and slim and perfect and wanted so much to be like them. i never thought of them as fat eveyone seemed skinner than me. it may sound strange but mine started from being assalted and had nothing to do with food it was all about control and not feeling worthy of being able to enjoy food. still dont understand it now its a horrible illness.

men can suffer people just expect it to be women so its must be even tougher for the guys

[tobeloy]

No offence about the question but what has got me riled is that it took quite a few posts before someone finally acknowledged that us men suffer with this problems as well.

I have had an e.d for nearly 5 years now yes i am a bloke, and yes its a bloody struggle and a fight every day.

[veritymoon]

well you make sure you keep fighting x

[{Dakota}]

Thank you soooo much for your answers! (apologies for the delay in gettin g back to you too!)

I can't thank you enough for your answers and letting me know what is going through your head when you're going through this terrible time of your lives.

tobeloy - I am sorry you felt angry at no one acknowledging that guys suffer too, it honestly did go through my head when I was typing the question, I just didn't want to distract from the question with politics. I *know* guys suffer too, and it's also not a problem that only youths suffer - older people - anyone really. Please don't be a stranger with us, and if you ever need support or just a rant, we are here for you - please keep fighting :)