News1 min ago
Don't you just love children
At dinner, a little boy was told to lead the family into prayer.
The little Boy said “But I don't know how to pray.”
His dad says “Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc.”
The little boy started, "Dear Lord," Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won’t come again.
Forgive our neighbour's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor n*ked ladies on my daddy's blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mum's room when daddy is at work"
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver he is 4 years old when asked because he will ride for free.
As they get into the bus the driver asks Johnny how old he is. "I am 4 years old."
"And when will you be five years old?" asks the driver.
“When I get off the bus," answers Johnny.
The teacher had just finished reading a story to the Fifth-grade class.
She decided to check the student's knowledge of some of the vocabulary that had been used.
"Who knows what the word 'adolescent' means?" she asked.
Out of the entire class of 30, not one child raised a hand.
After a few more silent moments, she decided to give them a hint:
"Adolescent - it's something all of you are, and I am not."
Finally Little Johnny tentatively raised his hand, and in a very soft voice said, "Virgins?"
A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard, and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the tail is attached to the cat.
Little Mary has the first attempt and answers, "By fur Miss?"
The teacher replies, "Not quite right Mary, but a good try."
Meanwhile all during the lesson, Little Johnny is sitting down the back raising his hand in the air saying, "Me Miss!, me miss!"
The next student the teacher's picks is Peter, and he answers, "Is it attached by skin Miss?"
The teacher replies, "Not quite right either Peter ... Anyone else want to try?"
Finally, the teacher had no choice but to pick Little Johnny. She said to Johnny, "What do you think the tail is attached by?"
Johnny replied, "Judging by the size of those nuts on the cat … I'd say it would have to be bolted on."
The little Boy said “But I don't know how to pray.”
His dad says “Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc.”
The little boy started, "Dear Lord," Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won’t come again.
Forgive our neighbour's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor n*ked ladies on my daddy's blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mum's room when daddy is at work"
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver he is 4 years old when asked because he will ride for free.
As they get into the bus the driver asks Johnny how old he is. "I am 4 years old."
"And when will you be five years old?" asks the driver.
“When I get off the bus," answers Johnny.
The teacher had just finished reading a story to the Fifth-grade class.
She decided to check the student's knowledge of some of the vocabulary that had been used.
"Who knows what the word 'adolescent' means?" she asked.
Out of the entire class of 30, not one child raised a hand.
After a few more silent moments, she decided to give them a hint:
"Adolescent - it's something all of you are, and I am not."
Finally Little Johnny tentatively raised his hand, and in a very soft voice said, "Virgins?"
A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard, and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the tail is attached to the cat.
Little Mary has the first attempt and answers, "By fur Miss?"
The teacher replies, "Not quite right Mary, but a good try."
Meanwhile all during the lesson, Little Johnny is sitting down the back raising his hand in the air saying, "Me Miss!, me miss!"
The next student the teacher's picks is Peter, and he answers, "Is it attached by skin Miss?"
The teacher replies, "Not quite right either Peter ... Anyone else want to try?"
Finally, the teacher had no choice but to pick Little Johnny. She said to Johnny, "What do you think the tail is attached by?"
Johnny replied, "Judging by the size of those nuts on the cat … I'd say it would have to be bolted on."
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