Have you ever ....

[cupid04]

embarrassed yourself? I have on more than one occassion. Only the other
day I was out shopping with Mr.c.[I take him because he carries the basket] I
was chatting away merrily to him only he had moved to another aisle and I hadn't noticed and I put a packet of sausages in a strange mans basket still quite oblivious to the fact when all the sudden mr.c jolts me out of my reverie by shouting what you doing? I couldn't wait to retrieve my sausages and get out of the shop as fast as possible. Mr.c thought it was hilarious and has since told anyone who will listen that I chat up strange men in the co-op!

[mike11111]

The only embarrassing thing to emerge from this is your confession that you shop at the COOP!

[parkie]

Yea right cupid. I believe it was an accident. Thousands wouldn't.

[mike11111]

p.s. you must be bloody rich to shop there!

[cupid04]

It is just my local convenience store. I do my main shop at Asda's.

[sherrardk]

Went for a scan on pregnancy number 4, asked if there were twins in the family and said no. Duly told I was expecting twins, through tears of utter shock I muttered that I was one of twins - totally forgot!

[owdhamer]

I once farted in Boots the chemist,terrible, and it seemed obvious who done it

[jno]

well, of all the excuses for handling a strange man's sausage...

[cupid04]

You can get a pound of pork and beef sausages for £1. Is that expensive?

[sherrardk]

I don't know the price per pound, I ask for the number of sausages I want (it's a complicated game on this house).

[mike11111]

"I once farted in Boots the chemist"

I hope you did it near the cosmetics counter, it would have brought a fragrance generally lacking there.

[slinkycat]

I walked halfway round the local (indoor) shopping precinct with my umbrella up :/ well it was raining outside and I was deep in thought :)

[moiflan]

Many moons ago, as a student, I worked in the bar of a fairly rough hotel.Having seen an ad for barstaff that day in the local paper for an unspecified pub, I thought I'd ring them from the public phone in the foyer.Imagin my embarrassment when my the chap on the other end of the line, having ascertained my name ,paused and said"Aren't you happy here Moiflan?"

[Dee Sa]

how very brave of you to own up owdy.SBD 's are the worst [silent but deadly]. my kids used to sing a song that went "he paid a penny and only farted and it left him broken hearted" cant remember the rest long time since it was that price to "spend a penny".

[Duncer]

My moons ago the guys in the football team I used to play for had arranged to go to my friends Jim's parents house in North Belfast to watch Barry McGuigan fight for the world title. The plan was that he would get rid of his folks for the night to leave the boys to watch the fight in peace.

I was working a two to ten shift but, having done some of the nightshift's paperwork for them, they let me leave at nine and I promptly jumped into a taxi and headed for Jim's as I had rang earlier to be told it was all systems go.

I rang his doorbell and entered a fairly packed living room full of my team mates. I said to Jim "Well done mate, you you got rid of the old ones then?" only to open the door further and see his parents just behind it watchin ght ebuild up to the big fight. Luckily I knew them well and got on with them, but I felt such a Richard Carnium.

[parkie]

Dee-sa. The poem you are looking for, which I have seen on many a lavatory wall but is now well out of date is:-

Here I sit, broken hearted. Paid a penny and only farted.

[woofgang]

I am a serial taker of other people's shopping trolleys.

[LoftyLottie]

I did try to grab one of the shopping bags out of a man's hands as we both left the supermarket, thinking it was Mr LL and I should be carrying one of the bags. The bloke hung on tight to it and was glowering at me when I finally gave up. I think he thought he was being mugged by a granny!!

[Dee Sa]

thanks parkdale I knew it went somethimg like that.
Dee

[mike11111]

With the decline in the number of public conveniences toilet graffiti is now, alas, a lost art. At college in the 70s one cubicle was especially reserved for writing (always in pencil, of course). People would visit it merely for a little light reading.

[Duncer]

I remember a little toilet wall ditty that went

Some come here to sit and think,
Other just to sh1t and stink,
I come here to play with my b@lls,
And read the writing on the walls.