Having SERIOUS problems getting over my fiance's past? PLEASE HELP!!!
Please give me advice before I drive myself insane.
My fiance and I met when we were kids.
We started dating when I was 14, he was my first love.
Him and I were off an on from the time I was 15-17 and in those two years he wasn't only with me, apparently he was sleeping with girls I went to school with. (I just started finding all this out last year, because I am friends NOW with some of the women he's been with and I had NO CLUE, it was quite embarrassing when my new girlfriends were telling me they slept with my childs father years ago) when him and I were still dating.
Now, we are much older, we have two children, I love him with all my heart, he's faithful, he's good to me, he's great.
After all this time, he finally took me to a very special place last week and got down on one knee with a ring and proposed. I couldn't believe it. It made me so happy. We are now engaged, and for some odd reason I keep being reminded of all these chicks that he slept with when we were young. I know it was a decade ago but WOW why is it so hard for me? I love him so much and thinking of him with these girls I know KILLS me. It completely grosses me out.
I can't get these visions out of my head or the fact that when we were young while i was sitting at home waiting for him to call he was having sex with these random girls!! Some of them were just not the best of people either. I have had talks with him and he always says "OMG it was soo long ago I'm sorry" Somehow I still feel betrayed?? I can't get it out of my head, he's apologized a million times but I've got to figure out how to let this go?
I love him with all my heart and our children and I want to be married but when we go around our friends and someone brings up another girl that is in our group of friends it sucks because all I think about is "oh thats one of the girls he slept with, when i used to think i was the 'only one'"
I know I probably sound so stupid....but this really is bothering me..
HELP!