Bully at work....

[FrillyPancake]

Am the subject of some bullying in the workplace, I try very very hard to ignore, but the guy that's doing it is a complete "roughneck", never afraid to say EXACTLY HOW HE FEELS/swears is completely rough in his manner, and makes no bones about it. He will make sure I hear him speaking about me to people from afar - I try to ignore him.... Has been going round the office for months now, bad mouthing me, calling me useless / bad at my job etc etc to other members of staff, who some have told me straight to my face (which was useful to know btw), but then he comes into my office and is nice as pie to me, never saying a bad word. He truly is a horrible horrible person who slates me to my only colleague who is very much a yes/no man - anything for a quiet life, and (my colleague) also seems to think hat this guy is great at what he does too which doesn't help me at all. Most people at work are intimadated by this guy, however his pick is on me and me alone and no-one would ever dare back me up because (and as I mentioned) they are scared to talk up as he is so opinionated about everything and everyone. I feel really really alone, and don't even think my boss could help me. I am freelance, not staff, so cannot even rely on HR to help me as I am not employed by the company. Its my agency that emply me....any ideas on what to do? I am btw applying for everything and anything right now. So am trying to get another job.

[FrillyPancake]

Oh and forgot to mention, two other have left before I started because of him - he called someone somethign so awful to her face in a meeting once (I cannot repeat), and she walked out. Now the bully goes on about how she left because him, and had the audacity to bring him into an office with her manager to sort it out etc etc. He brags about this, like it's an achievement if his. The reasons they left is common knowledge witihin the office, and people just laugh about it, and say how shocked they are that nothing happened to prevent these people from leaving. They had no support either. Probably no hope for me eh?!

[factor-fiction]

It's a horrible situation.
If the company values your services- which I am sure they will do- I think they may be prepared to look into it. I'm not sure but i think they have a duty of care to you anyway. Your agency will want to stay with the client as well so I think you should speak to them.
You need to tackle it- or decide to take your skills elsewhere.
Good luck.

[FrillyPancake]

Thanks Factor, it's how to tackle it that's the main problem I have. I have basically nor ights, the company are not owing me anything, I have however been here nearly two years, the guy was brought back on after leaving to go to another company, came back and now walks about the place like he owns it. What makes it worse is he is illiterate when it comes to emailing, his grammar is absolutely appaling he has made many many mistakes which I have picked up on, as have I (as has everyone), we are all human, but no-one has got ill or died through our mistakes, we have resolved it there an then, I work in an office, so it's only paperwork at the end of the day. He is so bolshy, andloud and rude, just not something that I can beome overnigth - not that I'd want to btw!

[Kiki-frog]

What a horrible man! I agree with factor that you need to talk to your agency as soon as possible.

But if everyone else is intimidated by him, maybe it would just take one person to stand up to him and others may follow suite. Is there another colleague you could confide in and maybe together tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable? I'm sure you are not the only one that finds this man intolerable.

[FrillyPancake]

Thanks Kiki, yes you're right. I am not the only one who thinks this. HOwever I Am the only one in here that he does it to.....not too sure what the sgency will be able to do. Formal complaint and stuff, then he will find out, make my life worse than it already is then probably I will end up leaving anyway. Makes life in the office pretty dam unbearable all round I am afraid!

[carlton23]

Just ignore the prat, and he`ll soon realise what an idiot he looks in front of everyone else.

[Kiki-frog]

So do you think that you're the only one that gets this treatment because you're agency staff and therefore he thinks he can get away with it? If so, he's more of a low-life than I originally thought. But they do say that bullies are also cowards. At a guess I'd say he feels inferior, especially if his emails are as bad as you say they are. So he probably acts the bully to make himself feel strong, when really he's a bit of a useless t osser.

I really do feel that the only way you can make this stop is by confronting him, preferably with witnesses, but I can understand if you don't feel up to it. Talk to your agency and see if they can make any suggestion - this doesn't have to be a formal complaint, but just getting another perspective. It may be that this isn't the first time the agency's staff have come up aginst this idiot.

[FrillyPancake]

Hi carlton and kiki. Tried ignoring, he just continues having go after go within earshot never to my face. Dont think i have the right temper to confront him, i lose it easily when i feel threatened..........what he has called pmrevious staff members is abhorrent. He is a complete prat your right, but is a complete bully. I like an easy life. I have had stress issues with hubby and me, bereavment only found out today of an old colleague, family problems ongoing, money worries, potentially moving house, all in the past two months, just dont need this too! Timing eh?..........moan over....

[Mosaic]

It seems to me that the place where you work is yet another outfit where a bully is tolerated. There is nothing you can do about this. The firm will not change and bullies never change.
However you don't work for the firm - you work for an agency. If your work is being criticised this needs to be assessed by your agency - so speak with them asap and be completely frank about what's occurring. Ask them to consider alternative aways of deploying you as you are finding the bullying intolerable.
Don't confront him, don't engage with him at all. But do please keep a private diary of everything, especially who might have witnessed incidents.
Bullies can operate because most people are simply glad they are not the ones in the cross hairs - and will even collude with the bully to ensure it stays that way.
In the UK companies are content to waste millions of pounds and irreplaceable talent rather than deal with workplace bullying - so don't waste energy on feeling bad about this - you didn't start it and you can't stop it.
Best of luck - go for another job and let this lot swim in the foulness they have created.

[FrillyPancake]

Yes mosaic its the type of place where bully boys rock......unfotunately i havent either the gumption or steam to deal with it and its wearing me down. My hubby ready to fly down there and tell him, but as we all know that does no good...bullied all my life through school due to my 'soft nature'. Nothing changes and i am 33 now.....gawd! Just dunno how to deal with him. He walks about the place snorting and burping picking nose etc, and generally being rotten, and before you say it hubby is a 'real' man in that way but he even is far far more reserved and polite and respectful than this imbecile.....just a complete ass . hole........totally.........arrrrrgh! Tomorrow i am dreading.....yet again........

[FrillyPancake]

My hubby is lovely btw. Has his 'man' moments. Thats what i meant by that comment....lol

[mosesg]

Go to HR it does't matter if you are agency, they still employ you through an agent. I am sure your company will have a bullying procedure and they have to treat your complaint as serious. Good luck and I hope he gets what he deserves.

[FrillyPancake]

Hi guys to save me typing all the above again, he was at it again today. Belittling me to other spineless colleagues who were all laughing at what he said but out of enough earshot of me to make me look paranoid suppoing i was to say anything in defence. Honestly its making me so so angry and upset but i feel i gt nowhere to turn......so hard to keep professional short of shouting out 'drop dead will you' and trust me ive felt like saying that, i dont know what to do next. I am so not a nasty person, dont get me wrong i can have my mments, but i do live life in a gentle quiet way and treat people including him the way i want to be treated ,yself, this is gow i was brought up to think. I feel such a failure not being able to stand up for myself, but i am 33 now and still hate confrontation, its just not in me and ive had my fair share of family sh1t this yr to ladtme an entire lifetime. Just so tired of it all......

[tonyav]

Get your Hubby / partner to have a quiet word with him, away from the company premises.

[factor-fiction]

This is an appalling situation but i can still see only 3 options:

1) confront it in some way - either report it to HR or your agency, assert yourself and tell him to stop or make it clear you are not listening (put some headphones in as soon as he starts or walk away, or even burst out crying- I bet he won't know what to do.

2) Do nothing and just accept it will probably continue

3) Leave and look for somewhere that values and respects you.

[FrillyPancake]

Thanks guys, guess i know what you are saying is right ijust feel so helpless, as i absolutely hate confrontation.....aye just hate it! I would let hubby have a word, but wiuld be afraid he would lamp him one, he has had enough of me crying and being worn down with it all i dread to think what he'd do...