What's the best

[NoMercy]

Insult you've ever heard? :)

[owdhamer]

During my interview with the youth employment officer i told him i wanted to be a miner, the wood work teacher, sabu the woodwork boy came out with, thats just where you belong boy down a deep, dark hole.

[parkie]

When God created you he broke the the mould.

The best thing he's ever done!!!

[ladybird49]

My friends husband said to her when they 1st met " Has anyone ever told you you are beautiful? " when she said no he said " no and no-one ever will " !

[parkie]

I call my wife 'Treasure' because people say, "Wherever did you dig her up?"

I asked my mother-in-law what she would like to come back different to what she is now, if she could be reincarnated. She said "A cow".
She obviously didn't listen to the question.

[Wharton]

When Gandhi was asked what he thought about western civilisation he said "I think it would be a good idea".

[Jeza]

A apprentice at work was told by his tutor, "if you were a dog I would have you put down" Not funny. the boy was only 17.

[mike11111]

Two from the world of politics;:
1 In a debate in the House of Commons in 1962 after the PM, Harold Macmillan had sacked a third of his cabinet in a desperate attempt to boost his popularity, the then young leader of the Liberal Party (Jeremy Thorpe) parodied holy scripture thus:

"Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his friends for his life"

14 years later, when the Labour government of James Callaghan had slipped into a minority and was facing the real prospect of defeat in a motion of no confidence at the hands of the new Opposition Leader, Margaret Thatcher, the then tiny Liberal party, by now led by David Steel after Jeremy Thorpe's disgrace, fearful of losing what few seats they had at a general election, came to the government's aid (the "Lib-Lab pact"). This prompted a Tory backbencher, whose name escapes me, to declaim scathingly about the Liberals, "Many times have I heard of rats deserting a sinking ship, but this is the first time I have heard of mice joining a one!"

[Answerprancer]

"He's got a face that looks like a bulldog licking p!ss off a thistle"

[mike11111]

I don't believe your granny really said that about you to your mother.

[karenmac60]

'She looks like Dot Cotton licking piss off a thistle'

Malcolm Tucker ;-)

[karenmac60]

Sorry AP - couldn't be bothered reading all the replies :-)

[parkie]

A woman MP (cannot remember her name), once said to Winston Churchill, "If I was married to you I'd give you poison."
To which he replied, "If I was married to you, I'd drink it."

[Brinjal]

Your face looks like my dog walking backwards.

[Prudie]

The most hurtful I've ever received was ' you don't look fat with your clothes on'

[daftgrandad]

The last time I saw legs like that,there was a message tied to one of them.

[joeluke]

"Best part of you ran down the inside of your mothers leg"

"When you were born the midwife didn't smack your arse, she smacked your mothers face"