Tesco Pharmacy

[magicmick]

One day leaning on the bar, Jack said to Mike "my elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I had better see the doctor!"
"Listen don't waste your time at the surgery there's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid...... a lot quicker than the doctor and you get your club card points

So Jack takes his sample to Tesco, deposits £5.00 pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later the computer gives a printout. "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water avoid heavy activity it will improve in two weeks".

That evening Jack wondered if the computer could be fooled, so he mixed some tap water with a stoole from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and the cat and masterbated into the jar for good measure.
He hurried back to Tesco to check it out, deposited £5.00 poured in his concoction and waited.
The computer whirred for a little while longer than he expected then printed the following 1) your tap water is to hard get a water softener 2) your cats having kittens see the vet 3) your dog has ringworm bathe him with anti fungal shampoo 4) your daughter has a cocain habit get her into rehab 5) your wife is pregnant with twins they are not yours get a lawyer 6) and if you don't stop playing with yourself your elbow will never get better.....thank you for shopping at Tesco have a nice day.

[robert551069]

Seen in the current "Reader's Digest" magazine.
At a dinner party, my sister was complimenting the hosts on the lovely spread they had laid on, when their little boy demanded in a disapproving tone"Why is the salad in the sick bowl?"

[Svejk]

Haha, out of the mouths of babes.

[starone]

Tee hee - have seen it before but long enough ago to still find it funny. Even hilarious.

[Jemisa]

An Oldie but Goodie. :)

jem

[shooty]

mint : )

[magicmick]

thanks for the comments guys and gals