Pensioner in Tesco

[Duncer]

Yesterday I was at my local TESCO store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when the woman behind me asked me if I had a dog..

What did she think I had, an fcuking elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost three stone before I woke up in intensive care bandaged from head to foot with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)


Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I'm now banned from TESCO's. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

[wardlaw]

Good one

[factor-fiction]

Not heard it for a while
http://www.muscletalk...et-joke-m3199707.aspx

[Baldric]

You could have stuck to AB factor

http://www.theanswerb...e/Question989596.html

[Tuvok]

Prefered the other versions - the ones without swear words!

[craft1948]

As a pensioner I love asking stupid questions in Tesco....................so far I've had 34 people banned.

[mrs.chappie]

It's an oldie but goodie. :o)