Depressing conversations in work..!!

[jd_1984]

For some reason in my workplace there is nothing my colleagues like more than a good old chat about who has died, people they knoe who are terminally ill or hospitalised, who has cancer, who is going through a nasty divorce, who's children are ill or in trouble.

I find it increasingly hard to be upbeat in this office! I am not unsympathetic at all and I am always on hand for support and advice but I just feel that you would think there was no joy in the world the way these people go on.

Todays converstaions so far...... "My friends mum has 2 weeks to live" "The guy I go to the gym with's wife has just left him" "My sister cant afford her bills and is in debt" Its only 8am. I find that it drags me down a bit.

Am I being really selfish??

[China Doll]

Nah, I don't like when people seem to thrive on other peoples unhappiness, and by that I mean 'the guy I go to the gym with's wife just left them'... So what?! How does that even effect you? Or 'my neighbours sisters daughter died', again, sad but what's it got to do with you?! I hate that sort of thing... It just seems to me that people want to show what good people they are because they just care soooo much about all these people they don't know.

There has been a death in our workplace of a collegue. I knew and respected him, he seems a nice fella. I did not work directly for him, we did not socialise together, we are not friends. I won't be going to his memorial because other than the sense that it is a sad that a young man has died, this has no effect on my life. Does that make me selfish?

[B00]

no, not at all CD. You didn't know him and he didn't know you, no disrespect at all.

[Infomaniac]

Unfortunately, when one gets to a certain age, all one's friends and relatives (especially the even older ones) have something wrong with them. It does seem to dominate a lot of conversations because all you need is for one person to lament an illness/death and everyone else then has their own story to tell. I have been to more funerals the last couple of years than the rest of my life put together. Try and go to work armed with lots of cheery stories to tell to counter the depressing ones.

[China Doll]

Thanks B00bies, I always think my opinions as above ^^ are a bit harsh in this respect. My docs are well upset, they should be, he was their friend and colleague.

I think everyone suffers enough in their lives (subjectively) to dwell all the time on other peoples misery or to take a vicarious trip on someone elses woes. So I can se jd's point. It's different if it's your friend or family, but even then the only reason you need to discuss it at work is if you need time off to support them.

[ummmm]

Lol, gness...you know the craic!!

[EvianBaby]

I think a lot of the time some people aren't happy unless they're miserable.

[parkie]

My OH used to know two spinster sisters who would go to funerals whether they knew the person concerned or not. Just, in their words, to give the family moral support. I wonder.
I must admit I am an optimist and cannot stand negativity. That's why I avoid most of the neighbours in our block of flats.

[karenmac60]

In one of my first jobs there were 2 older women who seemed to a have a competition every Monday morning. They'd discuss who had died, who was ill etc, but there was always this kind of oneupmanship - the more tragic the circumstances the better. Like if the person was young or there were young kids left behind or the family had had previous tragic losses. It used to drive me mad - they got more smug with each tale. Then they had a go at me for not joining in! -said I was spying on them when I was just trying to get on with my work.

[spotit3]

Just want to reiterate that the Irish are definitely not depressing. Yes,we care about people and help out when we can but we always have a cheerful word for people and most of us look on the bright side.

[gness]

Hi Spotit. How are you?

[thenry]

Always look on the bright side of life !

[askyourgran]

LOL wolf, that would have made them laugh in the office. My mates auntie is a bit stuck up, she insisted that 'her Arthurs' ashes to be spread on lkley Moor because he loved it there. I don't think you are supposed to do that. But there she was perched high up on a rock on the Moor shaking out the ashes, the wind blowing them right back into her face. Good old Arthur his last revenge.

[spotit3]

Hi Gness, not doing so badly. Good to hear from you. Hope hings are well for you.