An octopus walks into a bar and says"I can play any instrument!"
An Englishman hands him an electric guitar and he plays it better than Jimi Hendrix.
An Irishman gives him a piano which he plays better than Elton John.
A Scotsman gives him a set of bagpipes.He fumbles about with them for a few minutes and not a sound.
The Scotsman asks,"What's wrong, can ye no play it?" "Play it?"says the octopus."I'm gonna f*** her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!"