Is this normal behaviour...??

[jd_1984]

Someone has posted about "noise" from a neighbour and it prompted me to ask something to see if it is just me or whether my neighbours behaviour is out of order......;

Two nights ago at 2am I was woken up by our doorbell being rung repeatedly. Whoever it was was not giving up until one of us went down. My mind raced, has somebody had an accident, is it a friend or family member in trouble, the police.....??

Turns out it was our neighbour, a strange middle aged man who lives alone and hasnt spoken to us once in 3 months despite us being friendly and acknowledging him as neighbours should.

Our side gate had not been put on the "snip" and was therefore rattling in the high winds.

Yes I admit, our fault and yes it could be quite annoying. But we are very quiet considering we are a young couple with a toddler, no crazy party's, no mess. This was a total one off and did it really warrant all three of us being woken at 2am, toddler screaming, partner really scared and me creeping downstairs in my undies to see what the hell was going on!

I wouldnt have minded if he had proped the gate open with something then explained what had happened the next day, I would have graciously apologised.

It was a rattling gate for god sake! The neighbour on the other side did the EXACT same thing a week previous and yes we were aware of a rattle, but I personally would not dream of waking a family up. I would go round the next day and politely explainthat the gate had kept us up and that would be that.

This guy was really rude to me as well "I cant sleep, I want you to lock your gate, this is a p*ss take, I cant sleep...." He went on for what seemed like a full minute.

So, half asleep I went out and put the snip on to prevent the rattle.

Im still annoyed now and want to confront him

[Duncer]

Furthermore, my understanding is that jd_1984 wasn't even aware that he was causing a "problem". Am I a bad neighbour if my plants offend next door, yet I don't know about it?

[Purple_Popple]

Very odd, but perhaps he thought if he couldnt sleep due to this annoying noise, why should you..(you all must sleep happily through the rattle) hence the disturbance at such a weird time. At least you did your bit and alleviated the noise, good on you for doing that as most people wouldn't have had that much patience. If you had someone complain before though, why didnt you fix it then? Disturbed sleep for whatever reason is not nice.

[Bazile]

Surely - it depends on how loud the rattling was ?

You say -
// The neighbour on the other side did the EXACT same thing a week previous //

It sounds as if it was pretty annoying , if both neighbours had to complain ?

[Purple_Popple]

Why do you say he is strange anyway just because he lives alone? He just seems a very private person which isnt a bad thing. He may feel intimidated by you.

[Duncer]

If I was intimidated by someone I certainly wouldn't ring their bell at two in the morning, although you are right about living alone, there is nothing weird about it.

[RATTER15]

Duncer "For Funks Sake Ratter, at two in the morning? Why couldn't he have called much, much earlier?"

I would imagine:

(1) thats when the wind started blowing the gate.

(2) thats when he woke and couldnt sleep

(3) thats when he had enough of the rattling and didnt want to listen to it 1 second longer.

Do you think it was fair that he lie awake all night listening to a gate rattle.

jd_94 should have apologised for the rattling gate and sorted it immediately so they could both get some sleep, I would have been very apologetic for keeping someone awake.

[Duncer]

(3) thats when he had enough of the rattling and didnt want to listen to it 1 second longer.

He could have closed the damned gate.

[Psybbo]

What Duncer said ^^

[sherrardk]

The op also said it was his neighbour's gate that had been rattling previously, not his own. If anyone knocked here at two in the morning I wouldn't open the door (even if they did manage to actually wake anyone up).

[woofgang]

My neighbour had a rattling gate phase and I used to go out and wedge it shut. Eventually i mentioned it to him and he fixed it but he genuinely hadn't noticed the rattle and was grateful that I had told him....but it wasn't at 2am.

[RATTER15]

Duncer, settle down! he said the gate was rattling not left open, how do you know he had access to the gate to stop it from rattling?

Some people can be reasonable, some aren't so reasonable, the guy was asked to stop his gate from rattling so he could get some sleep, that sounds perfectly reasonable to me, even at 2.00 AM.

[Prudie]

We need to look at this from both sides. Imagine a liked ABer posting in the middle of the night 'I live alone and am a very nervous person. I have no friends, little family and haven't got the confidence to get to know my neighbours. They ignore me and I'm a bit wary of them. I don't sleep well and am on various meds for my anxiety but they only take the edge off. I'm in a terrible state tonight because I'm desperate to sleep but next door's gate is rattling in the wind. It's kept me awake for hours and I'm at the end of my tether. What do you lovely ABers suggest I do, you are my only friends?"

First few replies would be 'go round there and shout until they wake up and sort it'

Just a different perspective jd, that's all.

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

Nice answer Prudie.

[owdhamer]

Train your cats to shyte in his garden.

[Duncer]

Some people can be reasonable, some aren't so reasonable, the guy was asked to stop his gate from rattling so he could get some sleep, that sounds perfectly reasonable to me, even at 2.00 AM.

I can't agree; the only thing reasonable enough to constitute a two o'clock wake up call is an emegency. The OP has already said the problem was solved by putting the snib down.

[Duncer]

First few replies would be 'go round there and shout until they wake up and sort it'

Prudie, not wanting to denigrate your situation in the least, but my advice would be to "go and shut the darned thing."

[boxtops]

bazile, I think it was the other neighbour's gate before, keeping jd awake.

It's not reasonable, but as has been said, there may be reasons.

[askyourgran]

Obviously a bit of a nutter. I would ignore him in future. But it would have given him a peice of my mind first.

[jd_1984]

I have read your posts with interest and there is certainly a split opinion.
My thoughts were that this was a one off total accident on our part, not the final straw in the long line of anti social or loud behaviour. We are really quiet people and very considerate.
This guy just appears to be very isolated and doesnt wish to interact with us, thats fine, his choice. It was almost as if we had insulted him in the worst possible terms and I think that his aggressive doorstep manner was not warranted. He wasnt even polite "excuse me sorry to get you up but......."
My response when the neighbour on the other side's gate was making noise was to accept "ok we have been disturbed slightly" but it can be resolved in the morning and she was apologetic, it was actually the platform for us having what has become a good relationship. We have a toddler and my partner is alone approx 4 nights a month as I work away sometimes.

I think hi attitude was all wrong, even though some can empathise with his actions, to verbally kick off at me wasnt appropriate.....