Best non-excuse?

[FredPuli43]

A friend was in a tea room. She asked the waitress to change a cup, because it was chipped, and got the reply "Oh, they're all like that". Well, quite.

What non-excuses have you heard? (Clement Freud was fond, if that's the word, of the waiters' "No one else has complained", as though that were reason enough to explain why his own food was inferior. But that was once so common, maybe still is, that it may be disregarded for this post)

[sandyRoe]

There's no call for it.

[Mamyalynne]

Sandy pinched mine lol - 'You are the tenth customer I have told today, there is no call for it here', cracks me up every time.

[plautus]

Sandy is spot on! When asking for items out of stock in various shops I am told, "we don't stock it because there is no call for it".
My response of, "If there was no call for it you would still have some left!" does not seem to resonate.

[gness]

Ordered chowder in a pub in Penzance. Chef said I couldn't have the chowder until I, or someone in the party,had ordered the vegetable soup.
Why?
He only had one last portion of vegetable soup and didn't want to be left with it at the end of the evening!!!!

[FredPuli43]

As a corollary to the 'There's no demand' response: The humorous writer, the late Paul Jennings, had a new book out. He saw a copy in a bookshop window, so he went in to ask "How is that book selling?" and got the reply "Well, we only ordered the one copy, to see how it goes"