What would you do?

[2sp_]

A family member (rather not be too specific), will insist on swearing and using racist terms in front of my children. #1 daughter is 2½, and is like a little sponge.

I've asked them nicely to curb their language in front of her and I've gone mental at them.

But no change in the language. Apparently "she'll learn it all soon enough" and this person is only doing it "to wind me up"...

Next stage - stop contact between this family member and the kids? Seems extreme, so does anyone have any other suggestions?

[rsvp]

sounds a dreadful type of person to subject your daughter to this just to wind you up. Needs to learn a bit about respect and family values and until this happens keep well away. Stick to your guns co it's too laten your daughter begins to believe and repeat what she's learned from this idiot.

[paddywak]

It's totally unacceptable 2sp and you should do what ever you need to do to stop it,your kids will hear it soon enough without hearing it at that age. I worked in the mining industry for 30 years, an industry noted for hard language but it was very rare to hear that sort thing out side of work and never when kid's were around,now you hear school kids using it as part of the everyday language, a sad state of affairs.

[rsvp]

<<< stick to your guns cos it's too late when your daughter>>>> sorry typo.

[2sp_]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I know I'm doing the right thing by restricting or stopping the access to the children. Just wanted a bit of moral support!

Mr P is 100% behind me, by the way.

[DTCwordfan]

and that 2sp is a most important person in this - he should also intervene if he hasn't already.

[paddywak]

Forgot to add that if it was around my kids and he didn't change his ways I'd change them for him.

[Pumbah]

I heartly agree with everything that's been said, 2sp, and, as a father to two (now grown-up) daughters I would never have accepted such behaviour in front of them. You don't say whether this 'person' has children of their own. I'm not suggesting retaliation, just wonder, if the roles WERE reversed, how they would feel.

[Booldawg]

I'd tell 'em straight. And then ban them if they cant curb the language. I'd find out what winds this person up and keep doing it to them.

[2sp_]

This person has two grown up children, and from what I can make out didn't curb their behaviour when they were growing up.

I'll just not stand for such poison in my kid's lives.

[jake-the-peg]

They won't necessarilly pick this up from them.

My father was a great one for racist language, heaven forbid if he was cut up by someone of a different ethnic background !

You should have heard it!

But it's upsetting behaviour none the less and I guess some will

[Pumbah]

Whether they "might" pick up some or all of what is said in front of them isn't really the question. You don't like the language, and don't want your children exposed to it. In which case 'person' either accepts your rules, or stays away.

[friedgreentomato]

Even if the kids are not in the room racist language is not acceptable. It's your house your rules if they don't like it they know what they can do.

[lozzer50]

keep their foul mouths well away from your children

[Pumbah]

You also have to consider that, when they start school, your children may meet children from other ethnic communities. As you say, kids as young as your daughter "soak up" things they hear and repeat them, usually at the most inappropriate moment. There have already been infant school pupils accused of "racial" comments.

[pizza]

2sp You can't choose your family and this family member is not respecting you or your daughter.
Although it seems extreme but yes stop contact with this person, you don't need this person in your life if they can't respect your values.

[Smowball]

Totally agree with all the other posts. When I lose my rag I can F and blind like nobody, but I have never and would never use racist language - completely unacceptable!! And if it isnt even being done in temper, but just in conversation, then thats even worse!

[owdhamer]

It is not extreme you must put your kids first, I never heard my father or uncles swear.

[Nini74]

Oh my goodness! who does this person think they are to go against your wishes when you've asked them to stop it! a friend of ours swears like a trooper (and I mean the really really nasty word on occasions) and I always panic when we're in his company when my son (2) is around - thankfully it hasn't been an issue so far as he seems to quieten it down when wee man with us. But i think you're right - family member or not - respect my wishes for the sake of my child, or don't see us until child is old enough to realise that people who aren't able to think of proper words use swear words instead..... (and i say that as a frequent swearer myself - just not in front of mine or anyone else's children). Oooooh this sort of pig of a man (?) makes me sick !