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personal life at work
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Hi
As some of you may remember i have started a relationship with a girl at work and things are going great many thanks to all those who advised, can i ask for more advice though? :)
recently i have discovered my love life as been the subject of much discussion in the workplace to the extent i walk into a room and the conversation stops, there have been many snide remarks at my expense etc
i am an intensley private person as is my partner and we are nothing but professional at work keeping our private and work life seperate
am i justified in going to my manager and explaining i dont want my personal life discussed in the workplace as i dont do it with anyone else?
would i get in trouble for telling those concerned to mind their own business?
As some of you may remember i have started a relationship with a girl at work and things are going great many thanks to all those who advised, can i ask for more advice though? :)
recently i have discovered my love life as been the subject of much discussion in the workplace to the extent i walk into a room and the conversation stops, there have been many snide remarks at my expense etc
i am an intensley private person as is my partner and we are nothing but professional at work keeping our private and work life seperate
am i justified in going to my manager and explaining i dont want my personal life discussed in the workplace as i dont do it with anyone else?
would i get in trouble for telling those concerned to mind their own business?
Answers
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.If you start asking for your personal life not to be discussed or telling people to mind their business then you will probably just aggrivate the situation more, perils of work relationships unfortunately. You can tell people to mind their own business if they ask you directly, but there's ways of telling people to mind their own without using those words, I would think about how you say it.
As others have said you have to ignore it. People do gossip at work and there is no way to stop it. It would increase it if you went to your manager. Management cannot anyway stop what people say so it would be pointless, but worse than that it would show people that you are sensitive and give them more to talk about! I wouldnt do your last sentence - tell those concerned etc. for same reasons, ineffective and make them not only gossip about you but dislike you for telling them off.
Either put up with it (they will probably get bored eventually) or think about changing your place of work.
Either put up with it (they will probably get bored eventually) or think about changing your place of work.
I've been married for eight years, we work together too. Every now and then, a rumour goes about that there is something going on between us. No s@@t Sherlock - we have the same surname, for a start! I don't even react. Colleagues that know we are married find it amusing, and wind up the situation. 'What, him? Not possibly so, he like blokes' etc. I'm a private person, too. But everyone likes gossip! Don't go to your manager, just looks like you are telling teacher and can't defend yourself. Use a bit of humour, they'll soon get bored and move onto someone or something else.
Hi Breadstick. the best thing you can do is totally ignore the comments as they are more than likely aimed at getting a response from you. The best course of action if you enter a room and the conversation stops is to use humour to deflate them and make them realise how juvenile they are being. There is also the possibility that they actually are being affectionate in a weird way -depending of course on the snide remarks - a bit of affectionate 'ribbing' may be taken the wrong way if you are an 'intensely private' person. hey -people are genuinely interested in whose sh*gging who and you never know -they may be glad you've found someone and you are just being a tad over sensitive. Please don't go to your manager - it will add fuel to the flames and turn what is perhaps affectionate ribbing into a full scale hate campaign -no one likes a tell tale
There's very little your boss can do about the office gossip which would do anything but highlight it, and that would make it worse. What sort of snide remarks have you heard?
Hold you head up and ride out the storm. It won't last much longer and once your colleagues have adjusted to the new relationship and told each other all about it, it'll be history.
Hold you head up and ride out the storm. It won't last much longer and once your colleagues have adjusted to the new relationship and told each other all about it, it'll be history.