Tips for OAPs

[Jemisa]

Lovemaking Tips For OAPs

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1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle .
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3. Set the mood with lighting . (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial , before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Paracetemol ready in case you actually complete the act..

8. Make all the noise you want ... the neighbours are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice .

AND REMEMBER.........

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says , 'Let's go upstairs and make love ,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes , just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor , .... instead of by the police .

'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the Car park..

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the Toilet

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You're not sure if these are facts , .... or fun

[tenrec]

Love it!

[Psybbo]

Tee Hee, now do I laugh or cry?

[excelsior-1]

Ahhh!

[bookbinder]

Very good! You've been looking through our keyhole, haven't you?

[Jemisa]

No wonder I have all this eye trouble BB, eh?

Jem

[dunr]

I just wee'd myself.

[marval]

lol lol lovelyJem

[woolleysheep]

me glasses fell off laughing

[starone]

These made me laugh out loud jem, especially the first part.

[tonyav]

LOL, like em Jem.