Playing On My Mind

[AlwaysConfused]

I have been close to a family friend since I was maybe ten years old, and has been someone I could always turn to when I had issues or was in trouble, and in turn always been there for him. His disabilities are endless, but most noticeably he struggles to walk. His wife recently died, and naturally, I was there, as any friend would do. His wife was his carer, his love, his nuisance! ..... you know how married life goes!

I received the first phone call to say that she had died (unexpected, btw). I was with him immediately. I went to the hospital with him to see the body, as he needed support and also help to walk in.

When there, as I was trying to console him, a few others arrived (neighbours, friends etc). They asked how I was, I was fine, I didn't really know her that well. I didn't say that, but said that I was there for my friend, and genuinely wanted to make sure he was ok.

I then had a few cuddles from random people saying 'thankyou for being there for your dad'. EH?

At his wifes funeral, people rallied around for me. I thought that this was because I was one of his closest friends. I then had a few people, mainly neighbours and friends again, asking to swap numbers (which I managed to avoid) incase they needed to get hold of me, and that they are proud of mw for being there.

It's become obvious that he's told people over the years that I'm his daughter, which is quite blatantly untrue. I don't quite know how to take this. Should I bring it up with him? It's only been three weeks since the funeral

[woofgang]

well its maybe a bit early to discuss it but in the future, you might raise the "misunderstanding" that "some people" have.
Do you have a reason to want to correct the misunderstanding? eg are your mum and dad still alive etcet. If he is a family friend could you discuss this with your mum or dad?

[baza]

perhaps he has said you have been just like a daughter and this has been misunderstood,

[ummmm]

If he is your closest friend then surely you can talk to him about it.

[magsmay]

I agree with Ummmm. Mention to him that a few people seemed to be a bit confused and thought you were his daughter -make a joke of it if that makes it better to say. He more than likely thinks of you as his daughter which is a huge compliment and unless you have issues with this I would just leave it be for the moment. If anyone were to ask you outright 'are you his daughter' then of course you would have to put them straight

[AlwaysConfused]

I don't want to embarrass him, but he only lives a few doors from my family, its a nightmare! My mum is a very pretty and respected lady in the village. I wonder if he's said it to put his name to hers? He was there when someone mentioned about him being my dad, he didn't flinch. Thats what makes me feel he has been living this lie for several years

[AlwaysConfused]

magsmay, i agree, but the people he's 'told' are just about the most influential people in the area. I feel a bit stuck!

[magsmay]

@ Always Confused -then you really are going to have to get your mum on board with this one and tell her what is going on. What difference does it make that the people he told are influential ?- will it impede on your day to day life them believing you are his daughter -and what does you dad think of the situation? You need to talk to your mum !

[pizza]

You haven't mentioned your Dad always is it possible he thinks he could be your Dad?

[wolf63]

Is it possible that he really is your dad? Sounds unlikely - but you never know!

[woofgang]

deffo talk to your mum (tactfully) about this.