Film, Media & TV2 mins ago
The importance of exercise
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at £4,000 per month.
My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we have no idea where the hell he is.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing...
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 250 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there!
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a pub with a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at £4,000 per month.
My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we have no idea where the hell he is.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing...
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 250 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there!
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a pub with a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
Answers
1 to 4 of 4
Nice one Starbie. I have decided to go on pensioner cruises on a permanent basis. Someone cleans your room and does the laundry. Someone cooks your food 3 or 4 times a day. Medical help is free. There are shows to go to and when the end comes there are no funeral expenses 'cos they just tip you over the side. It is no good being the healthies looking corpse in the...
17:35 Mon 24th Sep 2012
Nice one Starbie. I have decided to go on pensioner cruises on a permanent basis. Someone cleans your room and does the laundry. Someone cooks your food 3 or 4 times a day. Medical help is free. There are shows to go to and when the end comes there are no funeral expenses 'cos they just tip you over the side. It is no good being the healthies looking corpse in the graveyard.
-- answer removed --
1 to 4 of 4
