Only My Auntie

[gness]

Just had the once a year chat with one of the cousins in Ireland. Seems Aunt Bea is still having physio and won't be back at work as a school cook next term. Why you all ask?
The conversation at the cooker went:
D'you know Aggie, it's always puzzled me why we have to shave our legs and not our arms...wouldn't you think they'd be as hairy? I hate shaving my legs.
Sure that's an easy one Bea....replied Aggie...Haven't we always got our arms going over the flames from the cooker with all the lifting and stirring.The flames keep the hairs singed and short.

That was when Aunt Bea had, not for the first time, a daft idea. She hoiked up the skirt, took hold of her leg at the back of the thigh and, with a mighty heave, threw her leg across the top of the cooker to singe off the hairs. And put her back out.

I promise you this happened...you have to know my family.x

[Baldric]

Brill gness, only your family !
;o)

[owdhamer]

I believe it.

[gness]

The daughter's reaction? Why didn't you put me up for adoption while there was sill time?

[lcg]

splutter! cheers, gness.....my wine has gone all over my laptop!!! x

[Dee Sa]

as its your family gness I believe xxdee

[tonyav]

Mrs Browns boys gness lol.

[owdhamer]

Is Dicey Reilly related.

[NoMercy]

I just got bubbles up my nose.

[Psybbo]

I'm with your daughter there but now we've adopted you, what could go wrong ED, have you just broken something?

[flump1]

Gawd bless gness xx

[gness]

Tony....the number of friends who phoned when Mrs Brown's Boys started to say....Jeez Gness........just like being with your lot!

[Zacs-Master]

I've told this before on AB but it is very apropos your post. When they were building the M62 outside my parents house, the labourers hut was just over the road. One of the blokes (Irish, incidentally) kept burning the bottom of his trousers on a gas ring which was placed on the floor for a large tea urn. Instead of moving the ring, he cut 6" off the bottom of his trousers!

[Dee Sa]

gness pls tell me you havent got the same laugh as Mrs Brown ???????

[gness]

Dicey trained me Owd! x How's you.

Sib...what could go wrong indeed? x

[gness]

Zacs...we just see things differently.x

God the laugh Dee!! NOOOOO!

[owdhamer]

Having a quiet night ,me Mrs Owd and Ronnie drew,he can put a piss taker down.

[gness]

And a smile to melt hearts Owd. Have a lovely evening. x

[Mammar]

Oh Gness, that's wonderful. Have you thought of contacting the script writers for Mrs Brown? You could make a fortune.
I'm still chuckling
More tales, please

[tonyav]

Mammar, gness is much prettier than Mrs Brown.

[Mammar]

Actually, who am I to talk?
My daughter has a sign in her kitchen which reads "if you knew my family, you'd understand"