Now when Cheesus saw the crowds, he went up on a grassy mountainside and sat down. His Junior Bels came to him,
2 and he began to teach them.
The Cheesititudes
He said:
3 “Blessed are the Yargs in Cornwall,
for theirs is the County of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who love Cheddar,
for they will be welsh rarebitted.
5 Blessed are the Bries,
for the French think that they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for Stilton,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the Cashel Blues,
for they will be served with Irish mercy aka Guinness
8 Blessed are the pure in Wensleydake,
for they will watch Wallace and Gromit.
9 Blessed is the Bishop Kennedy,
for they will be called cheeses of Scots.
10 Blessed is the Caerphilly when made from the milk of a Tony goat
for this can get lodged in one's throat.
11 “Blessed are the Cheesemakers and sellers when people insult them, persecute them and falsely say all kinds of evil against them because they have low stocks.
12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is our reward in heaven, a New Year plate full of cheeses ready to eat, just as our ancestors who were before us.
13. Cheers and a glass of red wine but none of that Hungarian Blood wine, please.